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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband cheating

13 replies

Shabb · 01/10/2020 06:47

Hi
I have seen emails that my husband have been cheating on me with other women and it have happened 2015 to 2017 with other woman’s

It have been 4 different women’s and he have shared his number with them and pictures of himself

We two kids born 2014 and 2017
So he have been msgs with other women after our child born and while I have been pregnant

Sometimes he have also been talking to some of these women
When I look back those years
I do remember he could hear some lady voice on his phone when I went to bed with kids
But I always stop and don’t think he is cheating as he loves me a lot

Few months back I find out when he email was open on his laptop and I check all through then I saw emails and find out he been cheating on me
He have made account on eharmoney as single man

I got all email and read them all and even with one of the women have have tried to make plan and meet each other and even he was willing pay for all the trips

He said it was simple stupid mistake and he loves me and he wanted me to mother of kids children
He says it is simple stupid mistake
He said he have never met any of them in person but he said when one of the women ask him send her then he knew that is not a women but a man

But one things I don’t understand that he had also problem get sexually active
It was even after couple moths after we married
Then he start take pills for it and still does
He never been sexually active and it was also me to make him to make love
I’m 12 years younger then him and it was love marriage

I know he have stress and problems in his family

That’s why he said he stress and it have affected his sex life

I love him but I don’t what to do
Should believe him
He did deleted his email in front of me

But I did email all those women in a same email and told them they have cheating same timing and that he married and have kids but no reply

What should I do ???

OP posts:
FippertyGibbett · 01/10/2020 06:52

What do you think you should do ?

Delbelleber · 01/10/2020 13:57

I would be furious and unable to forgive.

Bunnymumy · 01/10/2020 14:23

OP this was an ongoing betrayal over over years, with several women. I don't see how you could possibly forgive it. Or ever trust him again. He is a sleaze.

The fact that he has even made a new eharmony profile shows he isn't at all remorseful. Also, he is conning all those poor women. They might be sharing things (including intimate pictures) about themselves with him that they never would have if they knew what he really was (a complete ratbastard).

Its just so...entitled.

And what do you mean about believing him? You have all the evidence in front of you. I suppose you cant conclusively prove an affair but you can prove: emotional affairs, conning women, continuously lying to you and betraying your trust and genuinely being a creep.

I'd be off.

Bunnymumy · 01/10/2020 14:29

**amendment, 'prove' probably isn't the right word choice as you dont need to prove anything to want to leave. But I mean that you can see evidence for yourself of what he has done.

mklanch · 01/10/2020 14:32

you have to realize men like this never change.
i know someone similar to this. he cant help himself he is addicted! he gets angry if hes stopped from doing these things.
its lucky you have found out now. before he ruined your whole life. if he cant stay faithful to a women he married and a women who bares his children then he is not a keeper!

BubblyBarbara · 01/10/2020 14:51

He's made his bed now you have to let him lie in it. I wouldn't normally say this but LTB

madcatladyforever · 01/10/2020 14:53

4 "stupid mistakes" he is taking the piss.
The only thing to do with a man like that is to get rid of him.

Teaandbisuits99 · 01/10/2020 17:41

I wouldn’t forgive him for cheating
Even once.

Shabb · 01/10/2020 21:15

Really don’t know
He said he loves me plus he never met any of those women

OP posts:
Bunnymumy · 01/10/2020 21:35

It's easy to say you love someone. But it means absolutely nothing if it's not true. People who love you dont betray you, let alone do so consistently and continuously.

A person actions and choices are what show you who they truly are.

Sparks2 · 01/10/2020 22:21

Does he really love you? Speaking to other women and sending images IS cheating. The fact that he did this after your first child was born and while you were pregnant. He is cheating on your family not just you.

Alfiemoon1 · 02/10/2020 10:23

It’s easy to say I love you but he’s actions don’t look like he does. This wasn’t a one off mistake you don’t accidentally get set up on eharmony either

He’s cheated I wouldn’t be able to forgive

Hopeisnotastrategy · 03/10/2020 17:16

He is not a nice man.

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