Pining for a man? Post divorce sex?

[31weeksgone]

Ok not sure where to start or even what I want from this but I need to write it out somewhere.

I left my SBXH about 5 months ago and moved into my own place, with my daughter half of the time.

Just as I met exDH, I had a fling at uni although it never turned into anything else because I concentrated on exDH. This guy and me have always always stayed in touch over the years and friends and had a chat now and again.

Now he knows I’m single I invited him down this past weekend. (Had no one else in my bubble, single mum) He lives 5 hours away so it’s a fair trek.

It was incredible. He stayed at mine for two whole days and nights, and the sex was insane, I can’t even sum up how beautiful it was.

It wasn’t even that the sex was physically good although it was great, there was a real emotional connection, cuddling kissing for hours beforehand, and mentally I could of cried during sex. I’ve never ever felt anything like it before, and if anyone said this to me previously I’d have shrugged it off. He was also a perfect gentleman, checked I was ok, kissed my head, opened doors, paid for every dinner coffee even though I offered etc etc.

He made it pretty clear he wasn’t looking for a relationship and I knew that from the get go, it was just unfinished business. He was perfectly honest about it and it was my choice.

I cannot stop crying two days later. It’s like I’ve come back down to earth with a crash and I don’t know what to do with myself. Normal life now seems so mundane. I’m walking round today tearful and upset. I’ve tried googling for it and found some people find the first sex after marriage a big thing, I just don’t know why I’m so upset or how I’m supposed to forget about it. Does anyone have any help? Thank you.

I’ve been blocked on everything. He just blocked me. No explanation no nothing. I thought he would be in my life for years if only as a friend, I’m honestly gutted and needed somewhere to say it without being judged

Had you spoken since? Seems very strange to get on with someone so well, for so long for him to just vanish.

I have been through something similar recently and what I learned was it isn’t about him- it’s about me (you). That experience was just a reminder to yourself that you could still feel all those good things, that you still have that passion and joy and whatever. He just happened to be there at the time. So remember that, all of those good things are still inside you after all the crap you’ve been through. Now take the time to find someone who deserves them.

Also, make sure you have blocked him everywhere too. Because they ALWAYS come back...

ALWAYS

Sounds like he got what he wanted from you it might be for the best at least he's shown you what type of guy he really is please forget him he's not worth it. You need to think about yourself.

I’m so sorry OP, what a shitty guy.

But hey, at least you got a great shag out of it. I know all too well how intense it can be when your first time out of the gate post-divorce is a romantic whirlwind — high highs and low lows, as a previous poster said.

In a way, it’s so good that he’s shown you what he’s like this soon. Feel the sting, rage a bit, put that new exercise to good use burning away your anger, and then move on with a clear head.

Best of luck, you sound like a caring and thoughtful — you’ve got a great life ahead of you.

I do need to forget him and move on. We still spoke every single day about everything in life so it came completely out of the blue. Horrible. Onwards and upwards hey? Just a horrible horrible way for it to all be over.

What an utter prick.

Sorry, OP. Lousy thing to do to you.

Thanks all. After the initial shock now I’m glad, I’m angry and it’s given me such clarity. There can be no confusion from here on out. What an arsehole

Sorry OP, but he probably has other women lined up with his 'friendly' messages. He wasn't really into you and by blocking you he has put you back in your place. I bet 3-6 months you get "I miss you", you ask him WTF and he says you were being too needy, but if you want to be friends let him know...and so the cycle continues.

Some men are dicks. Not quite the same, but I'd been speaking to a man for 6 months. had the best kiss of my life...ever. Nothing compared to it. Fully clothed and he ghosted me 2 days later. Two months later he sent me a text from another phone number asking how I was. As another said, they always come back. Be prepared for it.
Im gutted for you, but envious that you had the most amazing sex ever! I still search for that!

Thank you, I can’t believe he played the long game for 7 years, that’s what hurts! The sex was amazing, but now I look back and it could of been a lie. Men are knobs

That’s awful OP, poor you! How did you find out?

If could be that he saw that you were developing feelings, and just decided to block you rather than explaining. Maybe he was one of those MGTOW types.

I went to message him back after the night before and bam, blocked. Maybe that is why, I’m still so freaking angry. Anger is better than sadness though, so I’ll be ok. Thanks everyone for your kindness.