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Relationships

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Original poster

Age difference.. Need some unbiased opinions

36 replies

MotherFunk · 10/10/2007 16:26

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Meeely2 · 10/10/2007 16:29

depends on the guy, personally at 19 he is only just out of nappies, he's got a good few years of wanting to get drunk and leave pizza boxes in the lounge.....or he could be wise beyond his years....depends what you want out of the relationship etc etc

Original poster

MotherFunk · 10/10/2007 16:33

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witchandchips · 10/10/2007 16:34

[--] hanging toungue old letchy lady emoticon

just see how it goes and take it slowly.

Lulumama · 10/10/2007 16:34

how old are your DCs if you have them? i think the acid test, is not what your friends or anyone else thinks, but how you and he and any children get on..

i have a vague recollection of 19 yr old men, and have a dim memory of obsession with music, beer, pool, and not a lot else !

Tinker · 10/10/2007 16:35

Well, I'm 7 years older than my partner but I met him when I was 37. I think at 25 I would have thought a 19 year old was just a boy - which isn't necessarily a bad thing! But, at 19 I was a student, by 25 I'd been working for 3 years or so - still a slob but it felt different.

Carmenere · 10/10/2007 16:35

Are you not bored by him?? I mean apart from the obvious.

I will disclose that my dss is 18 and seeing a 28yr old and I am none too impressed. But the extra 4 years probably makes a difference. she tells her friends that he is 22 though, so she is not embarassed at all

GryffinGirl · 10/10/2007 16:40

I have just consulted my sister who recently owned up, rather red facedly, to seeing a 19 year old. She is 29. She says she took a bit of stick from people and had some "cradle snatcher" gags, but generally everyone thought wow, you go for it girl! i think that would be most people's attitude. He chased her and she found him great fun and really mature, but in the end felt awkward that he was off to university and she has long since graduated. If you like him a lot - why not?

Original poster

MotherFunk · 10/10/2007 16:41

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Original poster

MotherFunk · 10/10/2007 16:42

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kama · 10/10/2007 16:43

This reply has been deleted

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DoctorFrankenSquonk · 10/10/2007 16:43

when I was about your age, I had a relationship with a bloke who was 18.

The relationship failed but it had nothing to do with our ages. If you fit together, then you do and it's nobody's business but yours.

good luck

BrownSuga · 10/10/2007 16:44

the older you get the less an age difference matters. my dh is 4yrs younger than me, both now 30+ and don't think about it. my xH was 10yrs older htan me. (at 19 i didn't know who I was, and grew into myself, whereas he was stuck in his ways and an arse, lasted 7yrs with him tho') my BIL is 20yrs younger than his DW. and one of my XBIL is 16yrs younger than his DW. (both of the blokes late 20s/early 30s) obviously they're very extreme differences and not without difficulties.

for some strange reason people look at older woman/younger man with suspicion but think it's ok older man/younger woman. i don't think your age gap is too big and if he's on your wavelength then it shouldn't really matter what ages you are.

Original poster

MotherFunk · 10/10/2007 16:49

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EvangelinesMum · 10/10/2007 17:13

I'm really sorry some of your friends aren't being supportive. I was lucky that neither of our families minded (I WAS worried what his parents thought) as I am 32 and my DP is 25 and we got together when he was 19. However, he was very mature for his age and although younger wanted to settle and have a family and we now have a 6mo DD. So it can work! HTH.

bubblagirl · 10/10/2007 17:22

whats 6 yrs his legal by 3 yrs and an adult who can make his own mind up if you were 36 and he 30 no one would bat an eye lid men date younger all the time

go for it if you get on and want the same in the relationship go for it alot of 19m yr old lads are mature alot are not but if you and your man are happy sod what anyone else thinks

warthog · 10/10/2007 17:58

he may be 19 but he's still human. your friends should grow up. no excuse for their behaviour.

i would enjoy the relationship for what it is.

CarGirl · 10/10/2007 18:09

I'm 5 years older than my dh and he was 23 when we met, ignore other people if you are happy and he is good with you dc then where is the problem. Like someone else posted just tak it slow and enjoy it.

Perhaps you will "mature" together

SuGaRCoAteDPoiSOn · 10/10/2007 18:13

I'm 38 and my partner is 25, he was 23 when we met, there have been differences but on the whole it's great

On the other side of the coin, I met my exhusband when I was 17 and he was 42, that worked too for 11 years.

I've also had guys around the same age, some of them were good relationships, some not.

Age is just a number, if you get on ok with him, enjoy the relationship and see where it goes

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 10/10/2007 19:03

A friend of mine met a guy of 17 when she was 34 and we all warned her especially as he was a virgin and young for age (not one for going out,v shy)

They had a baby 4 years later and then he 'grew up' and left her. It was v sad for her as she had invested everything in it.

I guess it comes down to how mature they are.Some 19 year olds are maturer than me and Im 40!

Original poster

MotherFunk · 11/10/2007 15:35

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pagwatch · 11/10/2007 15:45

Seriously - honestly !
I met a man at work who was 19. I was 25 ( I swear this is absoloutely true !!!)
He proposed to me on his 20th birthday. We married the following August.
That was August 1989.
We are still married today - with three children and I love him as much as i did when we were first together. He is 40 this year.

Original poster

MotherFunk · 11/10/2007 15:54

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lucyellensmum · 11/10/2007 16:13

i think 19 is a bit young BUT, it depends on his level of maturity and what you want from him. The only reason i am saying that i think he is young is because do you have children? Women do tend to be more mature than men tbh. Saying all that - my partner is 7 years older than me, i have always prefered older guyes, we met when i was 21 (been together 15 years. Two really close friends of mine have been together for 2 years now - she is 33 i think he is 27. My best friend met her partner when she was 37 and he was 24 i think they have been together about 20 years, and they are still besotted with each other and she still recounts lots of TMI information to me about their sex life.

If you like him, go for it, beware that he may be a bit young to commit with the children but he may well feel differently in a few years. My advice, enjoy yourselves and see where it goes. Oh, on the other side of the coin - i went out with someone two years younger than me when i was 20 and a single parent - it was a disaster (but that was because he was a prat!)

Original poster

MotherFunk · 11/10/2007 16:25

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Megsdaughter · 11/10/2007 16:44

I met DH when I was 36 he was 26. by the time I was 37 I was a grandmother, he has always been 'grandad' and very very proud of it!

we have been married 7 years next week and together 12.

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