Dating when you cant really be bothered?

[AhFiddledeedee]

I've been single for over two years, single parent.

I'm not massively bothered about dating again, but sometimes, just sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone in your life to share a bottle of wine, a meanigful conversation and cuddle with...

My friends have suggested online dating, but frankly, I can't be arsed. I'm pushing 40, what decent bloke is going to be single at my age? (I know, I know, I'm writing them all off before I've even begun, wrong attitude I know)

All I hear about online dating is the uncalled for dick pics, the men that aren't actually single, the cat fishers, the ones who put their age as 10 years younger than they actually are, to the downright weirdos. It all seems like so much effort to put yourself out there to be disappointed. There are so many threads with a recurring theme.

Should I honestly just resign myself to the single life and make that my best life? Possibly. I'm lonely enough to think about dating, but not lonely enough to put up with all the inevitable crap that comes with it, does that make sense?

Is online dating really the way to meet someone these days? Times have changed.

I'm so so out of the game, I'm rather meet someone "in real life", a friendship, and then maybe something more from there but from the sounds of things that's just not how it's done anymore.

I'm.not even sure what I want. When I look at threads about online dating, it all sounds so tiring and time consuming, moving from on to the next, weeding out the unsavouries. I really dont think I can be arsed with that. It isnt for me is it?

I'm probably not the right person to reply as I am married but I can't see any positives in online dating. A few of my friends have tried it, with absolutely no success and only met very odd people. My DB is single, in his 50s, he briefly tried on line dating but met a couple of very strange women who were clearly only interested in his income and lifestyle , one tried to get him to commit to offering her and her child a home after a couple of meetings . Luckily he just sticks to playing golf these days!

I know people say that 'everyone' does on line dating these days, even youngsters, but
surely there is merit in meeting people the old fashioned way, through mutual friends, hobbies, community events etc?

It's honestly a numbers game. I think if you go into it preparing to sift through some shit before you find anyone decent you will be fine.

Perhaps try a dating agency instead if you want to date but can't be arsed with OLD?

There's no obligation to date if you're content single, tho. Maybe work on strategies for dealing with the loneliness you sometimes experience in a different way.

If you want to meet men in real life get into hobbies where you're likely to meet nice men like sailing or squash or open a bookshop

I met my DP through OLD. Many of my friends have also met their DHs through the same too.

I find the free sites are full of weirdos that just send dick pics. If your willing to pay for a membership I find it weeds out all the wronguns and your more likely to find someone who's serious.

I can kind of see your point, but I would say try it. I have been single for a little over a year and briefly did online dating. It's not as bad as people say, didn't receive any dick pics or met any weird people. You have to understand that nobody posts about a good experience or an average experience, but people tend to post about weird stuff or people that hurt them, so it is a skewed view. My experience was OK, but I met loads of boring guys who would stop being interesting after a couple of dates, no depth, no real hobbies, no passion. But still they were good people. OK for a few dates but nothing more.. You have to have strong boundaries though as there are weird people out there too.

OTOH I have met the creepiest people at meetup groups, so this "meeting some in real life" is not what it's cracked up to be. Plus these guys could all be on dating apps too. It's not mutually exclusive.

I met my husband on plenty of fish, we've been married 7 years together for 8. My experience wasn't that bad, I had a couple of dick pics but I was very honest in my profile and had some lovely messages off some people

There is a definate move away from OLD these days, almost as though it's a bit old fashioned now. As a PP said, people are going back to traditional ways of meeting potential new partners.