I came across the most mental person on online dating and it’s almost broken me.
Flash back to March and I match with a man on Tinder. His conversation doesn’t grab me as he seems to be only interested in talking about himself and I’m talking with a few people so don’t reply very often. He’s very persistent. Double messaging and when I eventually lie and tell him I don’t go on there very often he asks for my number. I will forever regret this but I gave it to him thinking that I’d faze him out.
To my surprise after a few weeks of not really replying to him I decided to give him a chance and we really clicked. Still turns everything around to talk about himself but I can handle it somewhat.
Then I discover he’s manipulative. Words things to make you think he’s not actually single/interested in dating other people and when I asked about it told me I was crazy and of course that’s not what he meant. This was a running theme. When I mentioned I had been asked on a date by someone else he went mad. Telling me I’d probably like them more than him and how could he know I wouldn’t sleep with them..
He was in constant contact.. when we weren’t arguing. We’d go through periods of blocking each other but a few weeks later he’d be back. Either really cold or very sorry. I was Ill for a few days so starting going to bed at nine and I got told ‘that I always go quiet at that time’ the insinuation being that I was sleeping with other people. This insinuation happened a lot and I’d have to reassure him. If I ever said that wasn’t normal it would suddenly turn into ‘I was joking.. you’ve taken it the wrong way’. That’s not true.. he very much wasn’t joking.
I started becoming a nervous wreck every time the phone beeped. I never knew what was coming next. Some of the lengths he went to to make me jealous were insane. Telling me his housemate wanted him to be her surrogate.. all sorts.
Anyway, flash forward to the other night and we were arguing and he said something particularly nasty and I snapped. I just snapped. I wanted him to block me and never come back. So I told him I was in bed with my ex. I’m not proud of this but he’s made me feel like I’m losing my mind. It was awful. He asked me to go to him right now. It was two in the morning and he lives an hour away. Telling me he’d never do anything like that to me and he was very very very hurt. That I’d destroyed him. That he needed to go out for a walk for headspace and he wanted to throw himself in front of a train. That he could not cope with the thought of my ex being there with me.
The next day we talked somewhat and he’d try to be normal but would then make nasty comments and when asked to stop would say things like ‘I’m not taking jabs at you, maybe that’s the guilt talking, the guilt that you fucked your ex’.
Then he told me that he was in contact with his ex and maybe wanted to get back with her. Then the next morning told me that wasn’t happening. Then he blocked me. I’m scared he’s going to come back... how likely is it!? Can somebody talk to me. I never even met this man! It’s all become so normal that I think I’m not recognising how batshit it is.