I cheated

[ShaniaT98]

I've cheated on my partner and I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on moving on and feeling less guilty me and my partner don't have the best relationship and this has caused me to stray but he's told me if I ever cheated and he doesn't know what he would do to me and I would lose my kids so I cannot tell him please help

Why would you lose your kids if you split up?

Sorry I misunderstood your original post and can see he's threatened you and to take the kids. You need to start planning to leave and get some support from womens aid and the police. Apologies I misread your original post

How did it come up that he told you that if you ever cheated on him he doesn't know what he would to do you and that he'd take the kids?
Under what context was that said?

Also what do you mean when you say the relationship hasn't been the best?

@BubblyBarbara

Don't tell him, it was just a small blip and he pushed you to this so it wasn't all your fault

small blip? she's been bouncing on a mattress with another man (multiple times?)

If he's the type of man who throws those types of threats around, I'm not surprised you cheated.
My ex once said he'd slit my throat I ever slept with his brother. No dash specifically his brother, as we barely knew each other. My point is, up until that point, I would never have dreamed of cheating on him, I adored him. After that comment and after years of abuse, did I often dream that is meet somebody else, somebody kind and loving and not abusive? You're Damn right I did. Had I have met somebody at the time who was those things, would I have cheated? Yes. Even under the threat of a throat slitting, because fuck you.

@BubblyBarbara

Don't tell him, it was just a small blip and he pushed you to this so it wasn't all your fault

Nobody pushes anybody to cheat. Issues in your relationship should push you to try to sort out the issues in the relationship. If your partner won’t or can’t change or bother to try, then be honest and end the relationship. Nobody puts a gun to your head and forces you to cheat. It’s a deliberate choice. To avoid feeling guilty or being forced to look at the sheer awfulness of their behaviour, the cheat then uses the state of their relationship as an excuse, or vilifies their partner to justify their poor choice and terrible behaviour. No matter how awful the DP is, no matter how glaring the issues needing attention, there are no excuses for cheating. Ever. It certainly doesn’t make anyone a better spouse. It makes them a spouse who broke their vows and hopefully tries to make amends. Better spouse? No. In facing up to what they did and exploring the real reasons for their cheating, they can hopefully grow and become a better person who would never dream of doing this again.

However I’m more concerned about the threats made to be honest. I think the OP and her children need to put some distance between themselves and this man whilst they work out their issues honestly. Hope you are OK, OP. Your husband sounds like he has issues of his own he needs to deal with.