Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

FIL interference problem

6 replies

Catzenobia · 10/10/2007 13:42

Hello everyone, this is my first post so hope I will get it right. I am having a very hard time with my FIL who has criticised my housekeeping (said no cleaner would take my house on), said when the house flooded, "I expect you wish you'd never bought it" (DH moved in with me before we got married so I own it although obviously now both of ours) accused me of being disorganised (which I am not, just a bit of a mess) and now he has asked about what we are planning for the birth and I said we were down for the midwifery unit and he gave me a lecture on how I'd regret it if anything went wrong and I should be somewhere there are doctors (he's a retired doctor) and shouldn't listen to the midwife who is biased etc. He does all this when DH is doing something else as he knows DH would tell him to leave it alone. I am now at the end of my tether (also vomiting about 7 times a day and continually nauseous which isn't helping). Worried about sorting this out now as otherwise think will get lectures on being a bad mother next. He also has lots of good qualities so want to work it out somehow but am worried I will just lose my temper and that'll be it as I've been bottling it for so long. What should I do?

OP posts:
PregnantGrrrl · 10/10/2007 14:14

If he also has lots of good qualities, could you try just saying 'I appreciate that's your opinion, but i'd rather you kept it to yourself to be honest'?

re: the unit thing- tell him to check his facts. It's not midwife opinion, there is factual evidence to show how safe it is.

Do you have to see / speak to him much?

maisemor · 10/10/2007 14:15

I think you should talk to your husband and get him to put a stop to it.
Until your fil stops, refuse to be left alone in the same room with him.

I hope you get it sorted especially now that all your lives are about to change.

ChipButty · 10/10/2007 14:16

Have you old your DH about this? I would get him to have a quiet word if you can't face it.

ChipButty · 10/10/2007 14:16

told not old

warthog · 10/10/2007 15:05

well tbh the issue is between you and fil. dh can have a word but i think until you stand up to him, he won't stop. next time say 'i don't appreciate comments like that.' or something similar. don't accept any of them. after a few occasions he'll get the message. maybe even treat you with a bit of respect.

ProfessorGrammaticus · 10/10/2007 15:11

If I were feeling as bad as you are, I would do nothng at the moment. I would wait (and hope the sickness passed) before saying or doing anything - though I would discuss it with DH.

I don't mean to suggest that you are being unreasonable, just that the best way to handle it is unlikely to occur to you at the mo.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page