Sticky beak ex MIL !!

[pinkyponkywonky]

Fed up to the back teeth (3.5 years on from divorce) with the ex MIL !!! She occasionally has our son over for the afternoon (teenager) and seemingly does nothing but harp on about her poor bloody son (he left us for OW, without a backwards glance).
My son (who is very loving and sensitive, with divided loyalties) comes back stressed and relays ridiculous shit about how "dad is so hard done by" and "poor dad, he has to now support two families etc"..... all fed to him by the toxic ex MIL.
I want to be there for my son, especially as he is clearly upset but I'm so FUCKING fed up with hearing these endless stories. My family never discuss the ex now as he made his choice and we have all moved on. Consequently, the kids have a great time when around my family and there is no stress.
Any POSITIVE thoughts?
PS Neither ex husband not ex MIL will engage with me on any level.

Why should a sensitive young teen be subjected to that type of bullshit? I'd raise hell over it.

Does your son know the circumstances of your husband's departure? Because if not. . .

What age is your soon? If 15 or more I think I’d call it. Dad made a decision , it was his decision, he is now living with it.

Your not dissing your ex just stating facts?

Does your son want to visit her? It sounds distressing.

Unless your dh is about to pull support or something, I think I'd just reassure him that his dad loves ALL his children, so is of course supporting ALL of them the same way. And tell him to say that to Grandma next time.

Even if your dh does not want to engage with you, you could still tell him that his mother is telling his children that he finds them a burden and resents having to pay for them. "Thought you might like to know that your own mum is spreading nasty gossip about you that makes you sound like a prick".

I definately wouldnt put up with that shit. Have you told your don she is being bang out of order? He should not be dubjected to that crap. I honestly dont think he should see her. She is damaging him with emotional manipulation. And he sounds like he needs to develop confidence to draw boundaries and see what is acceptable/ unacceptable. My DD is 11. She has a similar situation with my cunt if an exMIL. But she has come home and said to me that her granny has been interfering in things that are none of her place to say. Please protect your son. What a shit situation for you both.

Sorry. Typos. Does he want to see her? Cos he should be able to tell her he will only do so if she shuts the fuck up and minds her iwn business. More politely of course. But he should feel justified to not see her unless she stops her dhit stiring. He needs to know he is rntitled to demand she respects boundaries. She sounds like a bitch!

Me again! Neither your ex nor his mum will have any contact with you. Yet they think nothing of using your son to communicate this toxic crap via him. And, in the process, try and turn your son against you. Neither are on any level acceptable. And very damaging to your son. It doesnt sound like granny loves her grandson to me. Its not the behaviour of a loving grandparent who puts the children first.