Maybe it's rare for people to be truly happy with one person for life. Becaue that's the goal we are given from being young. Find someone. Fall in love. Have a family or go see the world together. Stay faithful and loyal and love in sickness and in health. I've never cheated personally but there have been times I've thought about a different life. Recently I've considered meeting someone else because I've clicked with him and there are massive voids in my relationship such as sex, fun, conversation. I've had chats with my partner about it many times. He reassures me it's the kids. We are tired. We don't get any help with the kids. To an extent he is right. But that doesn't stop me being sad that we've not had sex for over a year. He sleeps on the sofa. We never get to enjoy a drink and a night out. Everything changed when we became parents. He talks about conspiracy theories all the time and be depresses Me with his negative thoughts.
The thing is people are not perfect. Sometimes you just grow out of love for someone and it's incredibly hard if you change and no longer enjoy the same things. Or conversations feel dull.
I can't stand men who just want to get in a girls pants. I really can't. The ones that sleep around and play games are arseholes. But I do get that from time to time someone just comes into your life. Gives you something new and fresh. New conversations. New humour. You are attracted to eachother and you end up with feelings. I know acting upon that is cruel on a partner at home oblivious. But it happens so often. Maybe that person you were with in your twenties is no longer your soulmate in your 30s. But you can't just end it because you have children, animals, a home and financial commitments.
I truly think the fact it usually takes two incomes to survive is the hardest part about leaving a relationship. How can you leave someone when you can't rent or provide for your children on just one wage? How do you leave the family home when you need to divide all the stuff and work out what you need to rebuy for your new life but you won't have the money to do so? Sometimes money traps people. It sounds cruel. But it does.
For every arsehole out there cocking his leg over someone behind his partner's back I bet there's someone who can't just leave despite being miserable for the above.
Perhaps if we were able to be independent and taught from a young age you don't need to be tied down and with someone we would all live happier. Not everyone finds the perfect person. There are flaws in many relationships. Control, cheating, violence, laziness, poor parenting. Two of my friends have partners who hate them going out. They want then tied to the kitchen sink.
I just think these matters are complicated. It sounds like the guy was getting his leg over and had no intention of leaving his wife. But without knowing the full facts who knows.
Morally it's wrong to cheat. No you shouldn't go with someone else's partner. No you shouldn't meet up for sex with people who offer you nothing else. But people do it all the time because humans are just flawed and loneliness and the lack of excitement in life can drive people to these places.
As I've said I've never gone there. But things in my life are complicated and I am starting to consider what's best for my children whilst trying to make sure I live a life for myself that's positive too.