I hate my ex so much I hope he's dead

[MrsGRamsay]

That's it really. Thank god we didn't have kids.

A mutual friend turned up and wanted to tell me he's ill. However, I don't give a shit and asked her for no more info.

I just said perhaps I could get my artwork back - Iiterally had to flee with a small suitcase.

He made my life hell and was violent.

Any ideas on how I can get my paintings back?

I literally left with fuck all and asked (my fault) for quick, no fault divorce which he dragged out for years and stayed in marital home. My stupidity when I could have mentioned his affair plus drug use.

Ask the mutual friend to go and get your artwork back? And any other stuff.

"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

An old saying, but true. I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience with your ex but all of this vitrol will get you nowhere. Bringing up his infidelity and drug use during the divorce would have been pointless. You have your freedom now so cherish that and let all this hate go. As for your paintings, I wouldn't dwell on them too much either. Focus on the future and keeping moving on.

I understand just how you feel. I pray that my ex dies before me just so that I can go dance on his grave the vile bastard.
As to your paintings you’d be very lucky to get them back, my ex destroyed or sold all of my stuff.

Thank you Aquamarine1029 and ladybird69. It's been 20 years and I still can't get rid of the hate! Particularly because of how he was so vile to my parents and how he acted when my father died; he whinged about how his sudden death and my involvement in funeral arrangements etc was taking my time away from him.

@Aquamarine1029

"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

An old saying, but true. I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience with your ex but all of this vitrol will get you nowhere. Bringing up his infidelity and drug use during the divorce would have been pointless. You have your freedom now so cherish that and let all this hate go. As for your paintings, I wouldn't dwell on them too much either. Focus on the future and keeping moving on.

This quote is so true. The only person you are hurting by holding onto the anger is you. Forgive him, not for him, but for you. It will be a burden lifted and allow you to move on. It’s been 20 years. Life is far too short.

If it's been twenty years, the chances of him still having the artwork must be minimal. I think you need to let that go.

But as long as you're living life and happy generally, I don't see why ill-will towards him isn't justified and fair enough.

Gosh twenty years and you’re still waniting your artwork back.

It’s really unhealthy to be so bitter so long after, have you considered counselling to help you accept the past and move on?

Turning to your question about the art work, unless these assets were given to you in the divorce and you were denied them, I honestly don’t think after 20 years you have the right to them.

Well, if they were in the home and at the time if the divorce the contents went to your ex in the settlement, they’re legally his. If you took them now, that would be theft.

I agree with the sentiment of previous posters, maybe not forgive but letting go of the anger. Holding onto the anger does you no good. Although I suppose it hasn’t been this strong on a daily basis for all these 20 years but rather the news has brought it all back to you, back to the surface. Don’t let the anger over come you.

I hate my ex because of what he did to DC, I couldn’t imagine being this angry with anyone without DC being the factor and after 20 years forget the art and don’t give him another thought.

The affair and his drug use would have made no difference to the divorce settlement.

Has mutual friend actually seen the art work in ex's house?
I do understand. My ex swapped a video of my family with a blank tape. All those people are passed away now. He is a petty selfish arse.
I could get a message to him, but I won't. It would affect me negatively waiting for a reply. It might kick off old nightmares. I would be sat around with all these thoughts going around and around. So I just leave it.
Hopefully our dd will find it when he dies.
If your artwork still exists, perhaps you could ask for it back. Then he knows he has a whole new way to torment you. Withholding something you want. He could say you left it behind for him. Or he could say nothing. Leaving you dangling.
Stop giving him your headspace.

Well done on cutting off the mutual friend from talking about him.

Holding so much bitterness after 20 years is only damaging to you. Have you really not moved on since?