This is super long, so I apologise in advance!!
I have a great life, I have everything I want and need and I dont go without. Literally all my dreams have come true.
I appreciate how lucky I am to be able to say that, I really, really do.
I am married with two children.
We have our own business which has been going for five years.
Off the back of this, my husband is at home a lot and so again, I am extremely fortunate to have him here to help with the kids.
We tend to fall out however, because, as he puts it, my job is to look after the kids. And that, it seems, is all he thinks I am responsible for.
He feels that because he is the one actually earning the money, when he has the chance to lay in five days a week, that's totally fair. That I should be the one to get up to the kids in the night, should they wake. That I shouldn't dare complain about the wonderful life, which he genuinely has, given me.
We have a weekly cleaner so he assumes I dont clean, though of course I do, though they definitely do the majority.
I argue that I don't just look after the kids. I also do some, though minimal, important work for the business, which in arguments is his, and in normal talk, ours.
I also keep the house tidy, which I feel he completely disrespects, by leaving his clothes, cups, plates, rubbish etc all over the place, presumably for me to clear up.
I have the 'mental load' to deal with; food shops, kids appointments, school info, life admin, work admin and so on. All totally normal things, nothing out of the ordinary or special.
He has a bad back (yet does nothing about it), so often tells me he can't help put the kids to bed, or whatever because of that.
He also goes through phases of not being able to sleep, so my lay in may have to be sacrificed because he hasn't slept. He also gets migraines quite often, so another reason why he can't get up in the mornings or look after the children in the afternoons. I know these things aren't his fault, but dam it's frustrating for me.
I feel resentment towards him building and he thinks I'm totally unreasonable for daring to be unhappy with my lot. He loves to tell me how easy my life is, and how much better and easier my life is than anyone else we know, and honestly, he's not wrong there!
So am I being an unreasonable brat here, or is it reasonable to want to share the workload at home when he is here and not out at work.
If he is working from home, I totally respect that, but more likely he's just chilling/sleeping in.
He does have the odd early morning meeting, so it's not like he's laying in every day, or five days a week every week, but there are occasions when that happens, and I would just like to share the lay ins. I want him to tidy after himself. I will put the stuff in the dishwasher, and wash and put away his clothes, just put the stuff in the sink, or in the wash basket.
So please tell me, do I need to give myself a slap and him a bj for being the most amazing husband, or is it acceptable to ask him to step it up a bit.
Thanks for reading, apologies for the length of this!