So what did my husband mean when he said this?

[milou2]

ok, 13 years ago we had been married about 6 years, I wanted to start a family. I had waited 2 years for him to come round to the idea. He moved to a job he really wanted, we moved out of London, I stopped work.

We went for a walk one day and his words were 'You only want children because you have been a failure at everything you have done in your life'.

What was he thinking?? For that matter why didn't I cut and run there and then, but that's another story. Please shed light on this man I have been married to for nearly 19 years.

Yes, this is a very old conversation, but I'm needing to face up to stuff from the past and am only getting round to it at midlife.

Looks like you've gained in confidence and that is a threat to his self-esteem - so he has tried to belittle you as a way of regaining the control and dominance in the relationship. Very common, I dont see it as abuse at this stage although many would, I see it as emotional immaturity on their part. How you deal with it is your decision and its no an easy one because you have to live with their insecurities (I speak as someone in a similiar relationship)