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Original poster

He added vodka to my beer

54 replies

VodkaShotToTheHeart · 27/09/2020 14:36

Just hoping for some opinions to how annoyed you would be about this. I can't work out how I feel about it.

Last night me and DH had a 'games night' in the kitchen with a few drinks.
Just to set the background - we never get any time together on our own really and having a young family etc our sex life has declined recently.
So, we made a point for last night after we had put DC to bed to have one of our games night for fun and to relax.

I had a few cans of beer and DH was drinking vodka. Later on, I went to the toilet and came back, had a swig of my lager and was like 'ew' that tastes wrong, it tastes like vodka!'

DH just looked at me with a puzzled look while I was trying to work out why it tasted wrong. I then asked him a few times, 'did you put vodka in my drink?' and he said no. I then asked him to taste it, and he shrugged and said 'just tastes like warm beer to me'

I went on about it a bit more and asked a couple more times before he finally did a little laugh and fessed up it was him. He said at one point ''I didn't put that much in, didn't think you would notice''

So, how would you feel about this, angry or just a childish prank?

Thanks

OP posts:
FippertyGibbett · 27/09/2020 16:42

I would feel very angry, he in effect ‘drugged’ you.
Maybe to incapacitate you so he could ‘win’ the games, or to have sex with you.
In times gone by it would be seen as a prank, but not anymore.
You need to think if he has done anything like this before, is it an emerging pattern, or if it’s a one off.
Only you know if you trust him.

Nyclair · 27/09/2020 16:45

Childish prank

LadyFlumpalot · 27/09/2020 16:56

It depends whether he did it to spike you, or whether he did it because he thought it would taste yucky and be a funny prank, like putting salt in someone's tea or something.

Only you, with your knowledge of your relationship and your DH can decide which of those scenarios it's more likely to be.

NiceGerbil · 27/09/2020 16:59

I'd assume he did it to up his chances of a shag.

Out of order to spike a drink (unless like some PO it's something you do as a jokey thing to reach other).

The lying means his reasons weren't entirely benign IMO.

Quaagars · 27/09/2020 17:00

The not admitting to it and lying when asked would have me Hmm

Chersfrozenface · 27/09/2020 17:07

And if you'd drunk it, OP, and ended up with a two-day hangover, would he have done everything in the house and everything with the kids?

Also, what would he have done if you'd passed out?

Worth considering.

Mumdiva99 · 27/09/2020 17:07

That is not funny at all. I went out with someone who, unknown to me, spiked my drinks on more than one occasion. I was told many years after about him laughing to a friends partner about it. It's not funny in the slightest. In fact now I think it's downright illegal. I never got chance to confront him....but I am left feeling violated by it. He also never told me. But it explains why 2 pints once had me puking all the next day.

I wish the friends partner had told me but I understand why he didn't. Maybe my relationship would have ended sooner.

The lying and deceit is worse than the initial spiking. Once a lier always a lier.

GreyShadow · 27/09/2020 17:09

Can someone explain to me how this is a childish prank. Switching cold tea for a glass of whisky, yes I can see that is a childish prank. Getting someone drunk by spiking their drink? Nope can't see how that is a childish prank.

Reading between the lines it seems he was trying to get the OP more drunk than she wanted so he could have sex. Not a childish prank.

GreyShadow · 27/09/2020 17:10

And don't even get me started on the lying about it!!!! Fuck sake. Childish prank my ass!

HollowTalk · 27/09/2020 17:11

@GreyShadow

Can someone explain to me how this is a childish prank. Switching cold tea for a glass of whisky, yes I can see that is a childish prank. Getting someone drunk by spiking their drink? Nope can't see how that is a childish prank.

Reading between the lines it seems he was trying to get the OP more drunk than she wanted so he could have sex. Not a childish prank.

Exactly this. Spiking someone's drink is never a joke.
BrimFullOfAsher · 27/09/2020 17:12

I'm confused as to where the sex bit comes in?

Maybe I'm being naive, but the fact they had recognised an issue and were addressing it and were have a nice, fun evening would have made sex much more likely anyway?

Dontstepinthecowpat · 27/09/2020 17:15

I’d be livid because I like to count exactly how much I have drank for driving the next morning. A bottle of wine would mean I wouldn’t drive before lunch but add it two more units of vodka and that would mean after 2 pm. Also if the DC woke ill at 2 am and had to go to hospital I’d assume I’d be fine to drive having only had a glass of wine at 8 pm!

MrMeSeeks · 27/09/2020 17:17

I’d be Very Disturbed by this

Barnowl25 · 27/09/2020 18:09

I would also be very concerned. Beer and vodka would make me puke so I would be v pissed off. I also wouldn't stay with someone who tried to spike my drink.

NiceGerbil · 27/09/2020 18:23

Brim because extra unwanted alcohol is the original and still most used thing added to women's drinks to get them to lose their inhibitions/ or get so trashed they don't know what's going on.

Vodka is the drink that is usually used as it's got the least taste.

Although op noticed obv. He lied and lied. Why if he didn't feel he was doing something a bit iffy.

OldWomanSaysThis · 27/09/2020 18:29

Makes you wonder what other sneaky things he is capable of....

Graphista · 27/09/2020 18:33

Thats disgusting! In my day we called it slipping someone a mickey and it's akin to drugging someone!

With the added factor of the sex issue that sounds like he was trying to get you drunk to "take advantage" - which is rape!

How is he otherwise op? Because I doubt this is the only way he's a dick!

LiveFromHome · 27/09/2020 18:43

There's only one reason a man would spike a woman's drink, and that's to incapacitate you.

What he'd have done from there is anyone's guess - photos, videos, who knows, all whilst you were out of it and unable to consent.

There's a name for men like him. I'm really not one of the LTB brigade but this would be a relationship ending event for me. The one person you're supposed to feel 100 percent safe at all times with has just blown that out of the water. All trust gone.

Monday55 · 27/09/2020 18:50

Instead of having a games night why didn't you have a sexy night of romping instead, if sex life has declined as you put it?

PicsInRed · 27/09/2020 18:55

That's drink spiking. Shots of liquor added to another drink used to be the go to "spike" for predators.

You ever got unexpectedly drunk, sleepy, passed out before, OP?

SummerWhisper · 27/09/2020 19:23

He was deliberately making your chances of saying no slimmer, chiefly because you would not be in control. Do you trust him not to rape you in the future? Sorry to be blunt.

Original poster
VodkaShotToTheHeart · 27/09/2020 19:32

How is he otherwise op? Because I doubt this is the only way he's a dick!

Honestly, good, no real issues before. He's always been supportive of me.

The one person you're supposed to feel 100 percent safe at all times with has just blown that out of the water. All trust gone.

Yes, this is why I feel somewhat disconcerted right now.

You ever got unexpectedly drunk, sleepy, passed out before, OP?

No. I don't think he has done anything like this before, but then again we hardly ever drink, so would be no opportunity.

OP posts:
Onxob · 27/09/2020 19:33

If it was a "prank" (how that could be considered funny is beyond me) then surely he would have smirked and laughed when you took a drink or when you were wondering wtf happened your drink? If it were a prank why would he continue to look puzzled and lie? There's no way this was a "joke". He wanted you drunk and it's very obvious why. Fucking creepy for your own husband to act like a predator...

Original poster
VodkaShotToTheHeart · 27/09/2020 19:41

If it was a "prank" (how that could be considered funny is beyond me) then surely he would have smirked and laughed when you took a drink or when you were wondering wtf happened your drink? If it were a prank why would he continue to look puzzled and lie?

Yes, this is exactly my issue with it. Then when he did 'fess up' to it actually said at one point that he didn't think I would notice, while at the same time saying it was 'just a joke'.

OP posts:
PicsInRed · 27/09/2020 19:45

No. I don't think he has done anything like this before, but then again we hardly ever drink, so would be no opportunity.

I think this is your "mask slipped" moment, OP.
He was too practiced and resolute in his long denial of having put anything in there. He's probably done this (to others) before, but as you said, hadn't really had a chance to do to you. Was drinking his idea?

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