Cheating or not?

[Spongebob88]

Hello new poster here. Really need someone to talk to right now. I have been with my partner for 8 years I have an 11 year old son from previous relationship.
Since she came home from work on Friday she has been messaging some girl from work, the phone has been going th and night. She has been taking the phone all around the house with her which she never used to do.
I've asked her a number of times if something is going on but she denies it. She has now changed the pattern lock on her phone. Yes I tried to snoop. I haven't slept or ate since friday. Even though she knows this situation is upsetting me she just carries on.

Please don't accept this and do not do the pick me dance! You must keep your dignity and sadly the only way to do that is to ask her to leave. I know this is heart breaking for you but if you try and hang on to your dignity this will reinforce your self respect and help you stay strong.
Take back control. She will realize soon enough that the grass isn't greener.
If you accept this and do nothing you are signing yourself up for a life of torment.
You can and will come through this

sorry you're going through this.

I too think I would be asking her to leave, she's obviously not loyal to you if she would take anything further with this other woman. You deserve much more OP.

@Spongebob88

So she didn't actually cheat but said she likes the girl and would go there if she could. I'm a mess right now.

So sorry for you, that's an awful thing for a partner to say. At some stage I expect everyone in a relationship will nevertheless find another person attractive, but caring individuals do not go around telling their OH.