Have you ever broken up with a very nice person?

[Sighing000]

I've been seeing my boyfriend for around four months now. He's really lovely but I'm just.. not feeling it.
When we first met I made it very clear I did not want a relationship at all, he said he completely respected that, but let me know if I changed my mind he was still very interested. After spending more time with him I did in fact change my mind, and at first it was amazing. Passionate, fun, great to hang out with. Everything a relationship should be.

Now the "honeymoon" phase has worn off I'm feeling very eh.. about the whole thing. I get very little time to myself, I have a toddler, a job and a house to look after. The time we spend together is obviously limited because of that. He's meant to come over tonight and honestly I'd rather just have a tidy, a long bath and go to bed with Netflix.

There's nothing wrong with him at all. Every break up I'd had there's been a big thing that's caused it. A very clear reason and something to break up over. This time I'd rather just be alone and focus on my stuff.

Anyone been through this with some words of wisdom? I know he'll be very understanding and accept I want it over, I just really really don't want to hurt him.

Not like that, no

But I think you just need to be semi-honest with him and say you're sorry for messing him about & that you do really like him, but you're just feeling that everything is a bit much and you just want to focus on DD right now and not be in a relationship with anyone.

Be kind, but firm IF you are sure it's what you want. Maybe you just need to see him
Less frequently?

You have to accept there's no way to break up with someone without hurting them.

I would say

• be clear and honest about your reasons
• don't give false hope of getting back together
• choose your time and 'venue' sensitively. His house would be ideal as he will be in his own environment - not in a public place where he has to get home from.
• be led by him in the discussion - if he wants to talk about it at length, let him. If he wants you to go away, go away.
• do all you can to enable a quick, clean separations - return any borrowed items, sort out any 'admin' issues there and then if you can.
• once you have told him it's over, make it a clean break - don't drag it out with promises of staying friends because this will only prolong his unhappiness with possible false hope.

Yeah, my xdh. Or dxh?

He’s a great guy. Very thoughtful, kind, loyal, hardworking and good looking.

But there was something missing from the start. I thought the problem was my fault and spent year trying to fix it, during which we had two dc.

I ended up very unhappy, probably treated him quite badly. We broke up on the best terms one could expect in this situation.

I’m still so fond of him and I couldn’t have chosen a better person to have children with.

Probably best avoiding the heartache though op.

Not exactly a break up but was seeing a lovely fella recently and had to put an end to the dates. It was tough because he had had a tough time of things... And you know when you can just feel someone's 'need' for ...companionship, I suppose.

But he just wasnt for me.
I felt a bit like someone had given me a puppy. And puppies are lovely...but I dont want a puppy xD. (But if a patronising way to put it but just so you get the idea lol) and telling him i didnt want to continue dating felt a bit like kicking a puppy too. Awful.

I think we owe it to people to be straight with them though. And to ourselves not to force feelings that just aren't there.

I think just be straight and tell him basically what you've told us. That you realise you are just happier in your own company atm. That you just arent feeling it anymore.

My one took it better than expected. Though I made the mistake of asking him how a big event he had planned a week later had gone and now I'm not sure if he thinks our convo is null and void (damn it! Lol).

Cut him lose, clear and clean. Dont attempt so stay friends. Dont feel bad about it. The fact that you are considering his feelings shows that you are a decent person. Sometimes things just arent right for us and it's always best to be honest about that.

Yes, I had a very nice boyfriend for a few months at university. Handsome, good singer (I first became attracted to him seeing him play one of the prince charmings in Into The Woods), very nice. The sort of man you can bring home to your mum.

I did bring him home to my mum during the summer holidays. She was delighted - intimated to my sister that she thought he might be The One. My sister apparently just laughed and said no way.

I broke up with him two days later after we drove back to London. There was nothing wrong with him, he just wasn’t for me. I had the ick. It was all very amicable.

Yes. A lovely man I was seeing in my early 20s. Kind, handsome, funny, considerate, utterly devoted to me. Everybody liked him, me included. But I just wasn’t feeling it.

Decades later he is still a lovely man (or so my mum tells me), and is very happily married with a whole bunch of kids. I, too, am very happy, with my cats, dog and partner of 21 years who nobody in their right mind would ever describe as ‘lovely’, but who suits me down to the ground.

I couldn’t articulate it at the time, but we just were meant to be on different paths, and needed different things. I felt a complete cow, but it all worked out for the best.

Yep, he was my best friend at the time and we had a quasi relationship for over 18 months. He was kind, fun, attentative and would have done anything for me and we had lots in common. But I didn't fancy him or love him the way he deserved. I knew I had felt those things we would have settled down together. I broke up with him one August and by the November he was with the woman who became his wife. It was the best thing to do.

Thank you for all your replys