Serial cheat partner. Please help me leave him

[Adviceplease10478]

I have tried to leave several times before. I don’t love him. This has been going on for years, I just want it to end now but I cannot see a way out

What's standing in your way op?

Money mostly. I would be several hundred pounds per month worse off if I really ended things totally. But it’s not a real relationship, there’s no support or warmth or trust or happiness

What impact would the loss of money have?

What plan do you have to replace the money?

I’m already working as many hours as I possibly can There isn’t really anything else I can do

We rely on the money for everything. DC nursery, clothes, food. I’ve only stayed in this pretend relationship because of finances but Its so unbearable

Never sacrifice your dignity for money, and sadly that's exactly what you're doing. You will find a way to get by.

i used to think i couldn’t leave my marriage because of money and i’m doing just fine op.

what’s taking up the chunk of money? mine was childcare so i got an au pair in which made my leaving possible.

Have you checked if you'd be eligible for any benefits? Have you done a budget to see where your money goes?

If you haven't there may be things you can cut. You could track your budget for a few months. There are apps available to do this. Things like gas, electricity, mobile maybe their are cheaper options. One simple example do you normally buy lunch or coffee? You can take your own. If you've already been through this please ignore. I know it's fairly basic advice but sometimes when you're anxious it feels to big and you can give up.

If you're struggling to get started maybe make a list, on a password protected device so he can't access. Step 1 might be check benefits or save for a bond if you'd need to move out of a rented house and rent yourself.....

See a solicitor re finances.

I'm not in the UK so I don't know how your benefits system works but I've seen some threads on here where people end up getting quite a bit.

You are wasting your life spending it with him when you could be starting over and building your new life...and all for the sake of a few hundred a month. It's madness.

If you emotionally detach from him, you'll become numb to his cheating. End your physical relationship with him, so you're not at risk of catching anything.

Then try a get a plan...it doesn't have to be anytime soon, but set the wheels in motion for a better future for yourself.