My partner does NOTHING in the house but i feel guilty for wanting to ask him to step up!

[FookLife]

Just to clarify i say he does nothing, he does mow the lawn (about once every 3 weeks) and will do the odd bit of diy (shelf that needs going up etc) maybe once every 3 months or so. But in my opinion that doesn't equal the daily and weekly amount of cleaning, washing, cooking and childcare that i do.
I've had 3 other long term relationships where i have also been with lazy men who do nothing in the house so i think its just a recurring theme with me.
My DP works full time and does a fair bit of overtime which isnt necessary but running a household and children isn't cheap so we need the money. It can vary when he gets home but at least 3/5 days he doesnt get home until 6-7ish. The other days its between 5-6.
I also work part time.
I then do everything household related, i clean, do the washing, do all the dishes, cook and make all meals, tidy, make beds, do everything for the DC and anything else you can think of i do.
When he comes home i just want him to take some initiative and start the dinner, or do the dishes if there are any, take the DC up for a bath or anything like that!
Weekends are no different, he is there and we do things as a family etc but i organise the DC, he just gets himself ready. I then do the cleaning at the weekend while he is on his phone or watches tv.
I'm not being unreasonable thinking he could help out, if not during the week but at least on weekends?? I feel guilty because i know he works all week and i work part-time so technically i have the extra time to do it but i also look after DC 24/7 and it's really getting me down having to do everything with no help!
I do speak to him about it and say he doesn't do anything to help which i then get the reply of i mow the lawn and do the diy, might aswell bang my head against a brick wall.

You say you'd like him to take the initiative. Clearly that isn't working, so you need to lay it out in black and white. You work part time so it's fair that you do more during the week, but at the weekend it should be 50/50. Stand up for yourself OP and stop being a doormat!

He shouldn't be doing less around the house than if he was a single man (a single man who didn't live with his mum or in a pigsty, I should add)

When do you get a break?

Maybe I could understand this set up IF you were not paying half the bills. How dare he?

Why are you allowing this behaviour?

He needs to pay for a cleaner with his own cash if he’s not contributing in person to cleaning.

I work 3 days a week and get a decent wage, we pay exactly half of all household bills including food etc so he isnt making up a lack of contributing.

Wtf?

In an equal relationship, you'd pay half of the bills, do half the housework and half the childcare.

Some couples choose to support one person's job/have one person do more childcare for the benefit of the family. In which case one person swaps their chores for contributing more financially.

But you're contributing 50% of the bills, 95% of the housework and 100% of the childcare.... while he contributes 50% of the bills and 5% of the housework... and sometimes pays for 'extras' that the family can enjoy. That's completely unfair, and you need to reset.

Either he pays more of the bills (I suggest 5/8ths) and splits chores at weekends... or you go back to everything 50:50 - which means he needs to seriously pull more weight at home.