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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Heartbroken for my children

1 reply

Jazzy87 · 24/09/2020 20:38

How can I support my children through my seperation. I am dealing with my own emotions but I will put that aside to try and take away the pain my eldest son in particular is feeling.
Everything happened so quickly, one day their dad was here and we were a normal happy family. Then overnight everything changed and we are try desperately to co-parent whilst living seperately.
Husband has an affair but obviously children are unaware.
My 9 year old is so sensitive and keeps on asking when Dad is going to move back home. Says that he doesn't have a proper family anymore, and then today that he is going to write on his Christmas list that he just wants us to be a family.
I just don't know how best to help him, I have spoken to his school and they are giving him some 1:1 support. I keep on telling him that this is nothing he has done, that our love for him will never change. What else can I do? He asks questions like does Daddy love someone else, is he going to marry someone else, I just deflect and then when he is in bed crumple in a heap and cry.
How can I take away his pain when I'm in so much pain myself? When will this feel easier?

OP posts:
MahMahMahMahCorona · 24/09/2020 20:42

There's a really good book called Mum and Dad Glue. Amazon - my 8yr old took it off the shelf and read it over and again just today. We separated when DC were 7 and 5. It might help. Have strength and courage - some days will be harder than others - and try to use age appropriate analogies to help him understand. 1:1 support in school is vital. Play Therapy has worked exceptionally well for eldest DC who is now 10.

Good luck Smile

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