Gaslit or going crazy

[clock87]

Please let me know if i am going mad

I went on a date with a guy it went well and the whole week he seemed super keen, we go on another date.

Anyway after the second date he just said "bye" no indication to meet up again, but you never know so i messaged and ask if he would like to meet up no pressure.. he goes "well yeah i reckon so"

i ask if he is free the upcoming friday he says he might go on a long bike ride

come friday i havent heard anything so i just ask if he would like to meet, he said yeh lets go on a bike ride, i said im free next saturday. He makes no attempt to let me know if that day works for him or suggest another

anyway it just becomes dead... so i message him a couple of days after being like "hey i kinda get the feeling your not interested so dont worry about anyother date cheers for the hangs"

he replies "i dont know how you got the impression im not interested"
i jst wrote back "well i dunno seems a bit of a push to organise another date"

then nothing

so either im crazy or im kinda being held in some weird limbo

thoughts?

Ha ain’t interested I’m afraid. There’s no need to worry if they are interested, as if they are.... you know it as they make it obvious. Don’t doubt yourself. Just don’t contact again and move on x

I wouldn't be interested if I were you, he seems far too much like hard work!

@PatKelly, thing is im completly fine with people not being interested but why on earth when i have given them and OUT they still continue to say they are interested?

people really need to sort this pointless behaviour out

Definitely not gaslighting - that term is very overused I think.

Not gas lighting just not interested.

What do you think gaslighting means, op?

If you have to chase someone to meet you, they are not interested.

He doesn't sound interested and you have had a lucky escape.

There is always threads about men and their hobbies and it always seems
To me that the one hobby that always causes murder is cycling.

I would have given up long before you did. Don't chase someone who's not worth chasing.

He's interested as long as it involves minimal effort or commitment (am I mean commitment as in organising dates in advance in case he gets what he considers a better offer). He'll happily drag this humming and hawing out as long as he can because he thinks he's God's gift and you will be thrilled to be sitting at home waiting for his last minute decision.

It's not pointless for him if you accept this crap. Plenty of women do unfortunately.

Stop chasing him, he's so not interested.

It is gaslighting because I asked him if he is interested and he keeps saying yes

Furthermore when I said to him “I don’t think you are interested anymore”

He replied saying “I don’t know where you got the impression that I am not interested anymore”

@EternalOptimist7*@Windmillwhirl @widespreadpanic*

It would have been a straight no from me at the lukewarm response of "well yeah i reckon so".

Actions speak louder than words. If he acts likes he’s not interested and he responds like he’s not interested, then he’s not interested.
If he was interested he’d have arranged to see you by now

Fuck that guy. He's either a flake or not interested. Either way, block and move on. Life's too short to these stupid games.

I agree, people need to sort out their behaviour.
I think some people are just poor communicators.

I'm in a similar situation with a flakey person, OP.

Some people just haven't got the balls to say thanks but no thanks after a date. His actions were uninterested, If you ask them on another date allow them to do their part of arranging. A man that is interested makes it very clear.

It's not gaslighting! Just plain old fashioned lying.

Gaslighting is a very specific behaviour of domestic abuse where one partner convinces the other, through small and seemingly insignificant actions, that they are going mad. EG, moving the car keys from their usual place, then when the victim asks "where are the car keys", the abuser denies all knowledge and says the victim must have done ig themselves.

It's a very calculated tactic of abuse. Your blokes just a bullshitter and/or a fuck boy. Bin him off and onto the next!