step families and major problems

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hi

bit long, so im sorry about that. Will try to keep it as short as i can.
My dad remarried a lady ( mrs x) who is 16 years his junior. he much older ( 26 years older) dh had recently died. she had two young children. she was very nice to me and my 3 other siblings. meeting us for cups of tea, phoning for a chat. just generally made an effort.
We all moved into togther. From that day things changed drastically. The day of the removal my sister and i walked 3 miles to her house to see what was going on. The phone had been cut off ( this was a while ago before any one had mobiles ) and we had been left at our house waiting. it was gone 3pm and we had been waiting all day. when we arrived she answered the door and said ' there is no room for you here' and shut the door in our faces. that set the tone for the next ten years. We have been ignore, snubbed and riducled. She was only nice once i annoucned i was getting married and would be moving out.

I moved back to the uk last summer. things have been terrible since. To the point of her whole family ignoring me. I was snubbed yesterday in a shop, i literally walked into Mrs X's Mum, i said hello and she turned and walked off. Noone of my dads real children are allowed in the house, we are not even allowed to call him when he is at home. I have spoken to my dad about this and he has said for the last 6 months that he is going to sort it once and for all. he actually hasnt done anything about it. I have said i would call mrs x and her family and have it out with them myself. I am not going to be treated like this. i am a grown woman with a child of my own ffs! he has asked me not to do this and to give him to the weekend to sort it out.
I feel sorry for my dad, he is old and should not be put in this position.
But i dont know what i can do? any advice?

perhaps you should tell him if he ever chooses to leave the evil & derranged wife that you will help him out. He is either being abused by her or completely spineless - he's not allowed to talk to you, he is a grown man!

ah well, since i last posted ive had a phone call from my dad.
they have had a huge row.
the evil stepmother admitts that she doesnt want to sort it out.
My dad told her she is being pathetic. He has said he wont hardly be at home now as he is going to visit all his family in his spare time. ( she doesnt like him going out without her)
he has said if he hears her slagging our family off again he will kick her out. he said he hopes she gets the message , but if its not any better in a week or two he is gonig to have to think hard about his marriage.
she is really trying to make him choose between his children and her isnt she.

yes absolutely she wants to dictate everything in his life. I would ask your Dad if he has written a will, because if he hasn't she will get eveything - point out to him you don't mind who he chooses to leave what to but if he dies first then you will get nothing - by that I mean personal memento items rather than money.

no i know. ive raised this issue before as several family members have died recently and not left a will and its a nightmare to sort out.

Shes just a nasty woman. tbh im glad that i wont ever have to be civil to her again, and i think she has shown her true colours. But i do feel sorry for my dad, but then again he is a grown man and shouldnt have let it get to this.

that's really good news that he's finally stood up to her. lucky he's still got you to support him through it.