Separated-found viagra and poppers

[maccmumof2DDs]

I’m separating from my husband and we split the care of the children at home which isn’t ideal.
I have found viagra and poppers in our bedroom.
I am not concerned if he is seeing someone else but does this indicate he is having Sex with men?
Again I wouldn’t have a problem with this just want a heads up really, it has crossed my mind in the past and we hadn’t had sex in 2 years when I left.
My first post so be kind ☺️

If you are separated, then he can do what he likes really, I don’t think he has to tell you. Viagra and poppers could indicate sex with men, though I know lots of straight people who take poppers, and straight men who include anal activity in their sex lives with sex toys etc.

With Covid though I can understand why you’d want to know if he was interacting with lots of people while still living in your shared home. Maybe chat about some rules around that?

Though if you are essentially broken up I don’t think he has to tell you about who is having sex with, provided it’s not impacting your life negatively.

However, if the poppers are easily accessible by your kids then if course it is your business.

At best your ex is being a twat! Leaving you signs of his oh so exciting love life.

Are the children in the house when he may be using them? Time and a place. Remind him of that
Or does he have access to the bedroom when just him?

I’m assuming your ex is staying not only in the family house but in your bed ?!

If so I’d not only be annoyed at the bring drugs into the house but possibly shagging them in your bed (why keep them in that room otherwise) that’s nasty 🤢.

Get separate rooms, and have a discussion about expected standards of behaviour (ie no drugs in home but feel free to shag whoever you like but not in my bed).

Not got much to say, but I will say combining those two can be lethal so I hope he knows what he’s doing.

I've known straight men to use both of those (separately) so it doesn't necessarily mean he's having sex with men.

As a PP said, using both together isn't a good idea.

Though if you are essentially broken up I don’t think he has to tell you about who is having sex with, provided it’s not impacting your life negatively.

@workhomesleeprepeat I think he should agree not to shag people he doesn't live with/isn't in a bubble with during COVID. It's a legal think to try and protect as many people as possible.

*thing

Wow. I can't believe people think it's not her buisness. I don't care if they're broken up, and regardless of covid, it's bloody disrespectful to the other person to bring new partners home while they still live together! He should go to a hotel or whatever 🤢

Thank you for the replies.
This really isn't about me wanting to know who he is having sex with more me educating myself so I know how to handle it and am not blindsided by something as I know very little about this.
He's never used any drugs before and I'm not even allowed a wine when I'm home with the kids so it was a surprise.
I don't think anything is happening in our bed just when he's not at home, I doubt the kids would find them but they were just in a drawer.
I am looking for somewhere to rent but 3beds are scarce in my area and I'm on a low income but it does concern me what may happen when I do move out. I am with someone else,happy with a very fulfilling sex life of my own so this isn't about that just want to know what I'm potentially dealing with.
Yes I've heard that the combination is dangerous.

Why are you not allowed a wine? That sounds controlling

He is very controlling but with all the stress of the last 4 years of things being so bad I was drinking too much and he used that against me, my self esteem was so rock bottom so I now don't drink at home it's not worth it