My ex boyfriend texted me 2 days ago after cheating on me, dumping and blocking me 3 months previously. It was just a short text saying he was sorry about what happened and he "feels bad about it". He is very avoidant and doesn't normally initiate texts so this is unusual for him.
It was a LDR and I have ended up getting a new job back in his city (not a coincidence, I was trying to find one there for a while to be closer to him and I own my own flat there, which became empty due to the tenant leaving). I never got the opportunity to tell him I was moving back because he was so intent on dumping me and blocking me.
So it could be that he's found out I'm back in town and he's worried I'll tell people how badly he behaved and he wants to sweeten me up, or he wants to get back together - but it was the second time he had ended things with me and he's very on-off. I'm also not sure whether he is still seeing the woman he dumped me for, but it's quite likely that he is, at least on a FWB basis.
The thing is, I'm really disgusted with him. I didnt get any closure because he refused point blank to meet up and dumped my things on my doorstep when he knew I'd be out. He lied to me and I couldn't get an answer as to whether there had been any overlap so I had to get an std test (fortunately it was clear). The only reason he gave was that he "got bored and felt lonely" during lockdown. There had been a lot of red flags before that I had overlooked because he had been treating me well and I thought he adored me, and I was really happy.
The more I thought about the way he behaved and the more I found out about him, the more I began to go off him. I know the woman he cheated on me with and she has a pretty poor reputation (as in used to go round the back of the building where she worked to give men bjs - I heard this several years ago from one of the sources himself, who is rely embarrassed about it). Her social media, which is public, is full of swearing and hints that she's pregnant (she hints she s pregnant quite often). She was always a bit of a joke for having poor personal hygiene and being a bit smelly and unwashed and she was quite happy with that and used to laugh along with it herself. She has photos of herself with cleavage hanging out in see through clothes - it's all very attention seeking and a bit sleazy and all her "friends" are men. He's really clever and educated, whereas she left school with no qualifications and struggles to hold down a job. I felt like I'd been drawn into something from the Jeremy Kyle show when I came home to find my belongings dumped on the doorstep. He lied to me, etc..
So I really want to reply telling him what I think of him now, that I'm disgusted by him and that I would never have got involved with him if I'd known how awful a man he was. I come from a culture (northern European country, OK The Netherlands) where people are very forthright and say things as they are. Its considered good to tell people how unacceptable their behaviour is, so they know for the next time and don't get away with it without any criticism. Whereas I know in this country I would probably be told to just ignore him.
I wouldn't feel sorry for him by the way. He's very good at feigning innocence, but it's not the first time he's behaved as a rat - basically he just turns into whatever person he thinks you want him to be to get sex, and has no qualms about cutting people off who are no longer any use to him. I stupidly overlooked all those red flags in the past because I'd known him for years and because I thought I was half imagining it, but now I realise his true personality.
To reply or not?