Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Comment hurt me - too sensitive?

6 replies

Sashisoo · 23/09/2020 01:31

Recently had a fling with someone which ended on bad terms. I’m mid twenties and confided in them that I was a virgin and they took it weirdly. Prior to this I’ve dated lots of guys but never had more than a few dates before either I’ve ended it or they have.

I do get a fair amount of male attention and after meeting guys have been asked to go to theirs or had them to stay at mine but nothing ever progressed (usually because I didn’t want it to go further at the time/didn’t end up progressing into a relationship anyway). A few guys did seem to want to date and have a relationship/pursued me over the years but wasn’t right for me.

Anyway! I confided in a friend about what I had said and his reaction and she asked how I had responded to his shock/surprise. I muttered something and she asked if I’d told him that I hadn’t really had the opportunity before (to sleep with someone) 🤔 The more I think about this (even though she meant well) I find it really patronising and quite frustrating... I have had multiple opportunities over the years but for whatever reason (confidence? Timing? Lack of chemistry?) didn’t pursue them and just haven’t met the right guy. Wasn’t proactive either really. Feel quite patronised that friend has boiled it down to that explanation and that that is what they think of me. Am I being over sensitive? And do I say anything?

OP posts:
Mintjulia · 23/09/2020 01:35

Your friend may have misunderstood, or said something clumsy that sounded off. Either way, there's not much you can do about it now so perhaps just put it behind you and move on.

It's nobody's business why you chose to pursue a physical relationship or not.

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/09/2020 01:37

Honestly, sounds like they were just making conversation.

Sashisoo · 23/09/2020 01:38

I am being too sensitive, knew it!!! Thanks both

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 23/09/2020 01:48

It might be worth having a little think about why. Is it internalised stuff about being a virgin? Or a feeling that you've waited too long?

We sometimes react strongly for reasons that are internal to ourselves.

Sashisoo · 23/09/2020 01:51

@MrsTerryPratchett defo yes... I feel like life is sort of passing me by having never had a proper relationship. The sex stuff I feel like I can catch up with and I don’t know why I waited (well, I do, I am very self conscious and was lacking in confidence) but I can’t help but feel that things are passing by me.

As soon as this passes, I want to date furiously but also have fun as a single person. Flirt, go out, travel, meet people... probs sound like a walking cliche but I want to make the most of the rest of my 20s. Have this nagging feeling it’s already too late

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 23/09/2020 03:00

It's not too late. Life is a marathon not a sprint.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page