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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

It's been 6 weeks...

3 replies

sweetiecake97 · 23/09/2020 00:29

My ex and I split 6 weeks ago, it was completely out the blue. He had been working away and something didn't feel right. He had been going to the pub on a night afterwork which was fine, why would I question it? I just had a gut feeling something was wrong. He had been messaging me, telling me he loved me and our 6 month old son, we have been looking at houses and we even video called the night before. Next day he ended it with no reason. I've since found he is now in a relationship with a 19 year old girl (he's 22) who lives in the same town that he had been in and is a barmaid in the pub he had been going to. I found that he had been seeing her behind my back and he obviously had to make a choice. I even messaged the girl and told her what had happened- she ignored me and started posting pictures of him and her which broke me! He hasnt asked about his son or seen him since, he doesnt pay me child maintenance and im just broken. Its been 6 weeks and it still gets me somedays and i want to cry. I lay in bed at night and cry as i dont like to do it infront of my baby. Im just heartbroken but i feel so angry and my hatred towards them both is so much! I'm worried how long it will take me to get over it as i just feel miserable. I want to move on but it hurts me and i dont know when the right time is to be over it 😢 my baby is the only thing keeping me going.

OP posts:
Bitsandthebobs · 23/09/2020 05:18

You sound like you’re being incredibly strong .its so hard to imagine right now but you do and will have happier & easier times ahead where you won’t feel this bad .. keep hanging in there .. it’ll be worth it .. your ex doesn’t sound mature enough to handle being a dad or to truly appreciate the gift of your little one .

blackcat86 · 23/09/2020 06:37

Its very soon to expect yourself to be 'over it' so be kind to yourself. Do you have real life support? I was in a similar position (without DC at that point) and found that doing lots of things for myself, especially things he would hate really helped. Stupid things like changing the bedding to something more bold, new hair cut, getting out with friends etc. Have a nice time with your little one regardless. Oh and call CMS. He doesn't get to just not pay maintenance. I would also be keeping a little diary of his lack of contact and contribution in case i needed it in the future.

AnyFucker · 23/09/2020 07:03

Contact CMS and get some financial support for your son

He can walk away from you but he doesn't get to dump his responsibilities

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