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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

STBXH’s talk in front of the kids

5 replies

Messwithyerhead · 22/09/2020 23:34

We are divorcing. I’m divorcing him, it is going very slowly for reasons outside our control. He drinks too much, in the pub and we have had separate rooms for years. One of our kids is in the habit of sleeping in the same bed as him - we have always had very fluid sleeping arrangements, but he’s recently in the habit of phoning his family late at night, from bed, with sleeping child next to him. He’s just done it now and given me the worst slagging. We haven’t told the children about the divorce yet, but he is SO careless about what he says. I think it’s damaging our child - he’s a sensitive sort who listens to conversations at the best of times. What do I do?

OP posts:
Messwithyerhead · 22/09/2020 23:46

Anyone?

OP posts:
HotGlueGun · 23/09/2020 00:10

I'm guessing he wouldn't respond well if you just had a word with him and asked him to stop?

IronNeonClasp · 23/09/2020 00:15

Very similar here OP my ex-H drinks and sleeps with both children in 2.5 beds which I've flagged but not a lot I can do in his house although means my son has relapsed and sleeps with me again in our house.
He also talks about everything in front of them which I had to flag up last weekend saying "they are children - let them be children rather than having to listen to adult woes" but there isn't anything I can do to stop this I cannot change him. I can only provide a sober, safe and loving home for them when they are with me.
Thanks

Messwithyerhead · 23/09/2020 00:26

Thanks for your responses. I think it’s damaging and abusive. Sad

OP posts:
NotaCoolMum · 23/09/2020 08:06

You stop the child sleeping in his bed- your STBXH and your child may object but it is your job as a parent to protect your child- clearly your STBXH isn’t doing that so it falls on you. Sorry you’re going through this 💐

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