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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

So Frustrated

11 replies

GreenEyedLadyx · 21/09/2020 22:25

Hi I'm looking for a little advise if you think I'm in the wrong please say, basically my partner of 5 years is always asking me to do thing it is making me extremely angry with him to the point I can stand his voice or being around him :( for example every morning he will ask me to make scrambled egg because I make it better (every morning without fail) he also won't touch anything I have touched for example a tin of beans Today for tea he wouldn't touch because I touched then, anything me and my daughter touch he won't touch :( it's really upsetting me he's making me feel like I'm disgusting and it is getting me so angry. The only time he will touch me is in the bedroom :( no kiss or hug during the day, anything he's touching he uses tissue to pick things up ( he was like this before covid) but it's only been the past year. I feel like it is bringing my self esteem down I feel horrible and depressed living like this it's really hard, he won't listen to me I've said it's not right and he needs to get some help with it, i just needed someone else's advise :(

OP posts:
Appleofmyeye05 · 21/09/2020 22:30

Hope you’re okay, does he have a germ phobia?

Bet it’s really tough to live with.

Original poster
GreenEyedLadyx · 21/09/2020 22:34

@Appleofmyeye05

Hope you’re okay, does he have a germ phobia?

Bet it’s really tough to live with.

It is really tough to live with I don't know how much longer I can live with him :( & I'm pretty sure he has. He says he doesn't but his actions say different.
OP posts:
Mischance · 21/09/2020 22:42

It should not influence your self-esteem as the problem clearly lies with him. He has obsessional- compulsive disorder and needs help. It is not an emotionally healthy situation for your DD to be brought up in, so you need to suggest he goes to GP for treatment for his mental health problem. If he refuses, you may have no choice but to leave.

FlatShite · 21/09/2020 22:46

How can he be like that but also be happy for you to cook him breakfast? It sounds like he needs professional help.

Original poster
GreenEyedLadyx · 21/09/2020 22:51

@Mischance

It should not influence your self-esteem as the problem clearly lies with him. He has obsessional- compulsive disorder and needs help. It is not an emotionally healthy situation for your DD to be brought up in, so you need to suggest he goes to GP for treatment for his mental health problem. If he refuses, you may have no choice but to leave.
I understand exactly what you are saying but it does make me feel like this through the things that he is doing, I suffer from anxiety myself and have for many years so as you can imagine many things run through my head as to why he is like this. He won't go to a doctor's either. I know soon I am going to end up walking out as it is not healthy for me or my daughter she shouldn't have to think his actions are normal.
OP posts:
Original poster
GreenEyedLadyx · 21/09/2020 22:53

@FlatShite

How can he be like that but also be happy for you to cook him breakfast? It sounds like he needs professional help.
I really don't know 🤦🏻‍♀️ it is so irritating and stressful.
OP posts:
BlueThistles · 21/09/2020 22:55

What is his excuse for eating the scrambled eggs you make? he's at it OP, if he had real germ phobia issues then there's no way he's eat the eggs. Happy to have sex though right... he's a Prick, I'd move out and let him sanitise the place. 🌺

Original poster
GreenEyedLadyx · 21/09/2020 23:13

@BlueThistles

What is his excuse for eating the scrambled eggs you make? he's at it OP, if he had real germ phobia issues then there's no way he's eat the eggs. Happy to have sex though right... he's a Prick, I'd move out and let him sanitise the place. 🌺
He says I make them better 😂 I did think exactly the same will eat food I cook and have sex but has issues doing everything else and not touching things I have touched or his daughter has touched so won't touch any item me or my daughter has touched 🤦🏻‍♀️ I have also told him he should live on his own if he feels like this because it's not fair on me and my LG at all :(
OP posts:
BlueThistles · 22/09/2020 00:29

OP you know this isn't rational behaviour right ? if he has an 'issue' then he should engage support services, speak to his GP etc. You and your child cannot seriously live with this. Your DD could pick up Dads behaviours and start to the take on these as learned behaviour. Whats the long term plan. 🌺

Original poster
GreenEyedLadyx · 22/09/2020 00:39

@BlueThistles

OP you know this isn't rational behaviour right ? if he has an 'issue' then he should engage support services, speak to his GP etc. You and your child cannot seriously live with this. Your DD could pick up Dads behaviours and start to the take on these as learned behaviour. Whats the long term plan. 🌺
To be honest I have planned on moving in with my mother and father because I seriously can't cope at the moment. I have asked him to get help and he wont. I think I am going to have to sit down and have one final serious talk with him if he isn't willing to try and get help I'm going to move out. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, it definitely isn't fair on our LG.
OP posts:
BlueThistles · 22/09/2020 00:57

Correct, Im so glad you have somewhere to go during these difficulties. Be prepared for empty promises and reassurances that he will seek help, or maybe a flat no, either way Im glad you see it's not healthy. Good luck to you OP. 🌺

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