Disposing of ex husband's belongings

[AnonymousShrew]

I split from my ExH a couple of years ago and the divorce came through last year. He was emotionally and financially abusive and I did everything I could to sever ties which included being left with some of his belongings.

I put them all in storage room while I was sorting out my living situation but now I hope to move and get rid of the storage.

I tried to be amicable with him about arranging a date for him to collect his belongings, but it just resulted in another cycle of emotionally abusive behaviour. I have now blocked all contact.

Can I legally dispose of his belongings without his consent? He hasn't tried to collect them in two years but I have a feeling that he will come after me somehow if I do

He can't come after you for a damn thing. Bin it all and move on.

Thank you so much. That is my gut feeling. I've already told him to go to hell. I just wanted to make sure he didn't have any legal comeback

My ex moved out a year ago and I've asked him so many times to come get his stuff. Especially his exercise bike which was in the way, (so I sold it) but the rest of his stuff is like childhood photos etc so I dont want to bin it. But it really annoys me when I see it all I the outhouse.

Same @CatEatCatWorld but if they are so important to them wouldn't they have taken them? I feel justified for chucking them. He didn't care enough to take them, and I no longer care enough about him to keep them

Are you in touch with his family or could you put them on their doorstop to hand over?

I was going to say the same s the last poster. Could you send or drop the stuff off to a family member of his?

Or send the sentimental irreplaceable stuff to him if you know where he lives..or again to a family member of his.

@Appleofmyeye05 unfortunately his immediate family also threatened myself and my family when we separated. I can't even believe I'm writing this as I was always close to his family.

There is someone in his family that I could potentially send sentimental things to. That's a really good idea, thank you

Or another possibility is to pack everything and put it in a one years storage, give him the address for the storage and send the key via registered mail. It is then up to him to collect it from there or to extend the storage beyond a year.

If the storage time runs out then it's not your problem anymore.

What you can't do is just bin stuff unfortunately.

If you do go the storage route, photo everything that goes in and send a copy on a memory card to him so you have 'proof' of stuff going in there in case him decides that something is missing later on.

Just bin it/recycle/charity shop. It's a trait of abusive men they're not sentimental about things and he's had his chance to collect which he chose not to take

You could correspond one more time with a two week deadline but copy in a couple of reputable people who will evidence that you have done what you can to reunite him with his possessions before disposing of them.

I’m in a similar position. Finally gave my man-child ex- H his marching orders, and got my life back. He took a small bag of stuff when he left 3 years ago, and left everything else.

I’ve been doing a lot of clearing out and redecorating to improve the home for my and our DS, and have asked him to take his stuff. He’s refusing, saying he hasn’t got anywhere to put it. (Like I have! 🙄)

I’m seeking legal advice, but would love to just bin it all!

He’s also insisting that he wants certain items of furniture (I bought all but one item. Ho hum.), but hasn’t got anywhere to put it.

I am seriously wondering whether just to put it in an auction and give him the cash!

WWYD?

Watching with interest! Over two years now here. Left with one small bag, he looked like Dick Whittington 🤣 but all his stuff still taking up space/constant presence.

How much stuff is there? Non urgent parcel delivery is cheaper than I expected, and if you have his address makes it his problem without you having to see him. It's almost certainly cheaper than speaking to a solicitor or a year's storage...

All the usual crap, Minesa, like: almost his entire clothing collection; endless DVDs, CDs, vinyl records, video tapes (yes!), and a sea of wires, connectors and disused (but vital, apparently) electronic bits and pieces.

Think I might shove it in the shed and try to forget about it.

I’m glad I’m not the only one in this position. I don’t have a garage, or a large attic, but refuse to keep walking round teetering stacks of relics from the past. Xx

Love the Dick Whittington image, AGirl! V. Funny. X

It took me two and a half years to make my exmanchild get his stuff. It was such a mind game of his, to enable him to keep himself stamped all over the house le also being able to give me inconsistent little jibes all the time depending on whether he wanted me to feel guilty “youve ruined my life! Just throw it away like you threw me away!”
Responsible “That’s not my stuff?/Won’t the kids want it?”
Forever entwined and inconvenienced (also see Guilty, above) “Please store [room worth of stuff] it is frankly the least you can do” or mean “I thought you loved that [horrific broken clock]”
Irritated “god I said I’d sort through it and I will- after the football/ it wont fit in a taxi”
In the end my dad just drove it over and left it in his house. as soon as my dad got involved it was all smiles and “shall I pop into the loft and see what else I should take with me?”

So glad to be rid of it.

Why are you paying to store his things? Send him the bill!

Interesting that he was much more co operative when your dad got involved, lada. Shame I ain't got one of them. 🙄

Sorry. Best friend? Sometimes they need to be shamed out of this gaslighty narrative by a third party