Have you ever fallen for a stranger?

[Lilagray]

This is the strangest time of my life. No idea what's happened. I'm in a ten year relationship. I'm a parent. I'm a women in my early 30s. So how an earth can a moment with a stranger mess my mind up like this.

Random guy working locally near my house notices my daughter dropped something. He brought it over to my gate and our eyes locked. Just had a brief chitchat. Life went on.

The next day he waves to me from across the road. For some unknown reason I get all giddy. I noticed he was perching on the wall opposite, if I was outside with the kids for the rest of the afternoon. Again feel giddy when he smiled at me. It felt like every now and then he came to the wall to sit and face my way. None of the other workers sit here.

The next day the lady hes working for said he was talking about me to her. She didn't say what he said. I kind of didnt question it as I'm in a relationship!

The next day he is halfway through speaking to this women but as I come up the road he twists his head round and says good morning. Said my son looked keen. I shouted humourously across the road he would love to help out on the diggers if he needed a helper (he's 2 and it was just humour) he joked back he could help and he would pay him in haribos.

Today we had another little chat outside.

I literally have no idea what's going on but I can't get him out my head. He's not even drop dead gorgeous or anything. I just feel his vibes. This is the first time I've ever felt an attraction with a stranger and got vibes back. I wasn't looking for it. But I feel like I can't concentrate now.

I keep going from I hope he gives me more info soon.i hope he finds me on Facebook or something. Then I think I bluddy love my partner and nobody else would ever make me feel as at home as I do with him. Then I go back to thinking there's something about this man and I can't let it go.

Never cheated in my life.
Never spoke to other men.
Well and truly aware I'm too invested.

In my head I keep thinking about us meeting up and getting to know eachother. But I know I'm being ridiculous.

Has anyone ever fell for a stranger like this? What do you do to stop?

What's wrong with my head?

I hope I don't sound horrid when I say this but to me, he just sounds like a builder on the prowl for a lonely housewife with time on her hands during the day. He probably considers it a perk of the job and does it a lot And he's probably not single either.

I think every now and then we meet someone and chemistry is just there.
I've only known it a couple of times with a stranger

It’s possible to get stranger vibes BUT are you bored?

You are in serious danger of limerence, A totally unreal romanticised version of something.

Don’t fuck your actual life up for that.

Could well be.... Although I'm never alone in the day!

Guess my husband was a stranger before i got to know him.

Wouldn’t throw my marriage away for a stranger though. That sounds like someone just being nice/having a flirt.

Yes I have, I sat and spoke to him for hours whilst waiting for different flights at an airport. Never saw him again.

There was definitely something about him.

That was 30 years ago and he pops into my mind quite often.

I think we do have a connection with certain people. But you are playing a dangerous game here OP.

It's the strangest thing. I'm happy in my relationship. He's a lovely bloke. Although he is more of a sensitive man. So perhaps it's the more masculine feel behind this guy? I really don't understand why my thoughts are where they are at.

As for being bored. I suppose I do miss the feelings you'd get when you were first getting to know someone. I think perhaps it's given me that buzz from ten years ago. I actually put heels on today and perfume for him. So stupid because I was only in the garden with the kids.

I just feel like we both have the same thoughts going on. I hope I get over it soon. I suppose in 2-3 weeks he will be gone forever anyway.

It's honestly so strange. It must just be that he's talked about me and that's made me feel a buzz.

Maybe I just want to be a friend to him. I'm not really thinking about sex. But I feel like I want to get to know him.

Aghh hopefully tomorrow I snap out of it.

Hm not really experienced this myself. And I wouldn't take it any further. He might have initiated it but you're playing along.

I once had a thing for a teller in the bank , I had to go back a few times over a week to set up my son's savings account and I kept getting him ...( My son was about two as well), he had something about him... Very friendly and flirty. I daydreamed for about a week and that was that. Just a nice interaction. Just enjoy it but I think you need to realise it's just a distraction from everyday life.

Try and pull it back OP, I fell for a near stranger (one date then he lost interest and one random meeting that was actually not the most pleasant) and it was bloody annoying as I have been measuring every potential man up to that daft sod ever since (an idealised- beyond- belief version).

You don't want this to spoil the lovely relationship you have with your DH, not sure if the comparisons have already started when you mention the builder guy being more macho or if you were just musing on why he might've caught your eye but don't let the idea of someone you barely know get more traction than it already has.

How would you feel if your husband wrote this way about another woman?

That they locked eyes, exchanged jokey chat about your child and then he couldn't get her mind off her and how sexually attractive she was?

I don't say that to be a dick but to snap you out of it. Would you be upset to read him writing your post but from his point of view about another woman?

If so then remember that if you get giddy or he seeks you out on Facebook etc. He probably won't but you need to have clear boundaries with yourself about this.

@newnameforthis123

Good call

It’s a crush op.

I’ve had one twice.

Each time I took it as a sign to reflect on what was missing. On one occasion it was actually due to a feeling that DH and I were just coexisting, so we had a frank talk and made a lot more tome for each other. On the other it was actually grief for a family member that had does a few months before, I realised the man I fancied reminded me of him (realise how that sounds, not in a weird in way way, just something about his manner I realised after was attracting me),

Just think about it. You don’t know this man, love isn’t actually like in the movies where you can somehow tell a persons soul just by looking at them!

Ever been bowled over by a players charm before? Heard of psychopaths who were ‘lovely blokes’? You just can’t know what someone is really like, probably until you’ve lived with them to be honest.

It’s a crush, that’s all as long as you don’t mistakenly make it cause more trouble than it should. Enjoy your daydreams, move on, do something nice with DH.

I'd be gutted if my oh wrote this.

I literally agree with everything you are saying. I'm just unable to switch off from it. But today I'm going to try and keep busy. I need to move on from the idea as it's just unsettling me.

I honestly don't know why or how this has happened.

If I address what might be missing it's everything lockdown has taken away I guess. I've seen so little of family and friends. We didn't have our little family holiday by the sea this year (poor me I know) my kids have been cut off from everything. It has been such a boring year and perhaps it's just a comfort thing.

Thanks for your level replies. I hope to not get in this situation again. It's ridiculous.

To be honest enjoying the daydream isn’t inherently wrong, we do find other people attractive and it’s possible to be lonely even when never alone, I get that way even with 3 kids constantly here, though I’m lacking a partner!

Just make sure you don’t actually DO anything and he will be gone soon enough.

Unfortunately the reality is that when men are like that to you, they're like that to every woman they think is fairly attractive.

I'd keep that in mind in terms of this jnsta little crush.