Affair partners' secret codes

[SecondStageIgnition]

Hi, I recently read on here a post by a woman who had been an affair partner and she made reference to having a secret code with her AP. When I was sorting through my husband's messages etc I did wonder at the time if they had a secret code.
Does anyone have any examples of these types of codes?

I would be interested in this too.

There can been be various codes.

Like if one wants to start a text conversation and make sure the coast is clear, it could just contain a secret pre agreed word...like January.

Then the expected response could be Roger or Snow.

If there is no response, then the other party will not proceed with the conversation in case the husband or wife is around.

A coded response, also let's the AP know the coast isn't clear...there's not one set code, as it's unique to those in the affair.

Where the APs number is stored under a man's name, the starting message can be "are you watching the match"

Basically anything that wouldn't arouse suspicion if stumbled on.

Other codes I've heard of are a location name that is special to the couple.

Incriminating conversations will be deleted from the message trail..if they have any sense.

They would be personal to the couple.

Do you think he is having an affair?

Interesting.

probably work related codes

It will be personal to them. There's not some universal cheaters codebook (sadly!)

There was a terrible 80s sitcom revolving around a couple who were having an affair - Duty Free? Something like that. Their code was that she would hang a white towel off their balcony if her husband was out, and some other colour if he was in. I can't remember the specifics but it definitely taught me that most married people have affairs and it's all a jolly good laugh

🙄

A code word or a sentence via text to ensure they are taking to the affair partner.

A one word text to signify 'don't text me'

My dh had his affair partner under a mans name

I’ve heard that one way couples having an affair communicate is by emails, but they never send them so there’s no record anywhere.
So both of them have the password to the same email account, and one logs in and types a message, but doesn’t hit send, just saves it as a draft. Then the other one logs in, reads the draft, then deletes it, and creates their own draft. And so it goes on. Nothing ever sent or received, so no trail anywhere for anyone to find.
Sneaky fuckers.

My friends bf had an affair, he used to work away during the week. Would tell her which hotel he was staying at, but go and see his affair partner, but he'd google the menu beforehand and also take random photos of himself in various hotel rooms or outside Tesco incase his gf asked where he was or what he was eating. It all came out when she found receipts for pubs for two people meals.

The use of the emoji 🚫 to mean “don’t message me until I message you” (i.e. my phone is being watched)

Someone I know had a strict office hours only rule. They never ever messaged each outside of this, and made all necessary arrangements in those hours

I may be wrong, but as I wrote something about my ex AP sending me a card with our “secret code” in a recent thread, I think you may be referring to my comment OP. (I have namechanged since then).

I won’t specify exactly but the code I referred to on the card was merely the amount of kisses we would write to each other on texts/emails etc. It was an amount we would not give to anyone else, they could have more or less but never that specific amount - pathetic I know.

His wife used his phoned quite regularly at home (he always deleted our messages immediately so wasn’t afraid of ‘allowing’ her to do so) and whenever she asked to use it, he would quickly send the alien emoji to me as a warning to not send him anything. (He picked this emoji as it was random and not one that we would ever use ordinarily). I was a very well behaved OW and didn’t message when told not to!

The only other thing I can think of would be if he phoned me at work and people were around he would press a button three times so it made the beeping sound and that was code for “I love you”.

If 🍆 or 🐱 is in his most used emojis then yeah.

More importantly, if you are this worried then the relationship is already doomed.

Back in the day (70s/80s) I knew of an affair where the woman put milk bottles on or off doorstep to signify husband home/ not home. I imagine codes are anything at all

This reminds me of a Catherine Cookson where the woman put a certain colour/type of stone on top of the dry stone wall to signal to AP the husband was away. The neighbours worked it out and one day put the stone on the wall when the husband was home and it didn’t end well.

@Ren1975

They would be personal to the couple.

Do you think he is having an affair?

I know he's had an affair. I found out during lockdown.

Just curious about how the messaging was managed during lockdown, as I, or the OW's husband, might have seen them, so they would have had to keep them 'everyday' type messaging.

The occurrence of the pandemic must have been awfully inconvenient for cheating arseholes all over the country

I often wondered how my cheating bastard ex-H would have coped with lockdown. However he was that sneaky he’d probably have got away with it. He had a spare SIM card for a start. Plus he also had a spare phone too (but he had multiple OW so I guess he needed flexible options 🙄)

The other phone was the smallest he could get and he’d secrete it inside a long sock but under his jeans, so he could take it out and I wouldn’t see. So for example in a restaurant he’d go to the loo, be gone bloody ages and would have left his phone on the table. But he had sock phone too. And special hiding places in the car, behind drawers and in kitchen items rarely used.

Lovely.