Has anybody else felt a strange sort of grief when an ex has got married?

[Headwobbles]

It's bothering me and I'm ashamed to admit that irl. I'm not going to / can't do anything about it other than let the feeling pass, I'm just wondering if anybody else can relate.

My ex who was my first proper relationship has recently got married and I've found myself feeling a bit sullen about it. We were in one anothers lives for over 10 years, grew up together, have alot of history and were going to get married ourselves at one point (I broke it off as I was in a bad place)

We stayed friends but he decided to remove me from social media shortly before the wedding without saying anything, there had been no disagreements and we didn't speak often but I suspect he wanted a clean break probably which I understand.

I'm genuinely happy for him as she is much better for him than I was, she's beautiful and successful and clearly adores him. It's just bitter sweet.

I'm with somebody else myself now and have a family of my own. I'm happy with my life in general. I wouldn't want him back.

Has anybody else felt this way when an ex has got married or am I a bit nuts?

I felt that way after my husband of 24 years remarried in a nano second after we separated. I was devastated.
Move forward a few years and ex is miserable, an alcoholic, is suddenly grey and balding and is a compulsive liar!
She's more than welcome to have him and I now chuckle to myself!
Good luck... just think if the bad things she'll have to put up with !

In the unlikely event that anyone would be stupid enough to take on my ex-husband, I would feel devastating grief.

For her.

Luna and discovery you have made me chuckle

My ex is definitely not perfect himself. I think it's easy to forget the negatives and romanticize the memory of somebody sometimes after time as passed.

Logically, we were not a good match at all. If we were I would have married him. He could definitely be a bit of a shit.

i understand what you mean. I’m happily married but recently found my ex (first proper love) on social media and he is in a serious relationship and seems to be the kind of boyf now that I wished for him to be with me and I know when he does get married I will feel like you do. I think its the case of what if’s and i need to remind myself we definitely wouldn’t have worked out marriage and kids wise long term.

I definitely felt weird when a long term ex got married, it’s so odd when you’ve made those plans yourself to see someone else in “your” place (even though you don’t really want to be there). Pretty sure this is normal.

Now I see his god awful boring hobbies he posts about on SM and sometimes chuckle aloud thinking that poor woman has signed up to this for life

Thanks ladies I feel less bonkers to know I'm not alone!

It's a strange feeling indeed as I can say for absolute certain I wouldn't have him back. I think it's the finality of it all if that makes any sense, he's married now and no longer wants to remain friends albeit from a distance. We always kept in touch on a platonic basis until he got engaged to her so it feels like I've lost a friend more than an ex in some way.

(His wife is another ex of his and they married within 6 months of getting back together)

My ex and I split in 2015 after 20 years of marriage and 3 amazing children. There wasn't anything REALLY wrong just a sense of having grown apart and neither wanting to put any effort into growing back together. When he got remarried last October I found it really hard. It was less than 4 years since we split up which seemed an incredibly short time to me to get over a 22 year relationship!

I've been dating the same man for 3.5 years now but will never remarry - how can I promise to love and honour someone til death do us part when I've done it once and neither of us have died?!

@LunaNorth

In the unlikely event that anyone would be stupid enough to take on my ex-husband, I would feel devastating grief.

For her.

That's the spirit!

Good fucking luck to her I say!

She will have found out the truth by now.

I get this - it's really weird to explain or know how to process it. I think social media has a lot to blame for this.

When my first love got married I was devastated. But He dumped me and I was Still single so maybe that’s why.

Relief. He married, then emigrated to the other side of the world (his wife's home country). It was the first and only decent thing he'd ever done.

Not when he got married.. couldn't have cared less but strangely when he died last year I felt really sad.

Totally normal. You're probably not grieving him but the relationship and life you thought you'd have with him.

Mine remarried a few years after our split (his cheating, married ow) and it was hard when he told me but I kinda expected to feel that way as I had a few friends by this point that had been through similar so gave me a heads up...

What none of them had to deal with? His propositioning me the night before his wedding!

Ohh that was interesting!

I'd no interest whatsoever in hooking up with him and had never given him any indication of that!

But it did lead to an opportunity for some "revenge" by doing absolutely nothing!

I heard later he spent his wedding day shitting himself I'd say something - to the bride, or whoever.

Karmas a bitch eh?

There’s better things in store for you, OP!