Me again — tired and fed up with dating

[clock87]

I read my posts about this issue which just seems to be something that just never changes no matter how much I try

I’m now at the point where I’m just bitter, not unhappy but just bitter.

I want to have a family at some point. I don’t need a man, but I would like to have a relationship.. why is it so difficult for me?

It seems to me everyone around me is getting their happy endings why me I’m hitting every single branch on the way down. I said this year I bet my mate gets a bf and I will officially be the last person in the group with out a bf.. low and behold it happened

I don’t understand why it’s just my MO I have been positive I work hard I don’t think I’m
Ugly yet I seem to always be the one used and abused

I feel I’m
The universes biggest joke in this department, I don’t want to be alone forever yet it seems it will be the case

I moved away because of this as I couldn’t handle everyone being in relationships and I feel I just want to run again

I’m fed up of being ghosted dumped and I just feel lonely ... I cry about it I feel it only makes what ever energy it is putting this road block happy

I even go to physics who say it will happen

I’m 33 and it just isn’t changing, yet everyone else it couldn’t have been a smoother journey

I’m angry upset and said and I don’t know how to love forward without moving away again cos I can’t cope being the gooseberry any longer

Sounds like you could do with a break from dating completely. Concentrate on friends family, hobbies and your career for a while. You might find the bitterness you describe is spilling out when you meet people without you even realising and that might make them think you don't want a relationship

I feel like this at times as well. Some people just seem to strike it lucky with meeting the right person.

Do you think you have been dating emotionally unavailable people who don't want to commit?

Also, be careful with psychics. A lot of them are giving false hope and it's easy to get drawn into wasting money on lots of readings.

I know exactly how you feel.

@sundaymon

No idea and I’m over friends saying I’m going for the wrong people because how am I suppose to now

I understand with psychics I don’t even like doing it but I just feel so hopeless in this department

I just feel like life’s big joke, I don’t want to be bitter or angry I don’t want to call psychics fo hope but I’m just at a lost

A friend of mines ex bf cheated on her literally within a month she found her new long term partner house everything

I just think I need to move again because I’m struggling to cope or feel positive cos I don’t understand why I’m always the one with this issue

Even friends I know who cheat seem
To have partner that would do anything

Yet all I need to do is just go on one date and that’s enough o put them off

I feel like this a lot and I’m much older than you. I know so many people that break up and quickly find someone else. Never happens for me and when I do either they dump me or I don’t like them but I hang on too long and waste years of my life. If I was your age again (I wish!) I would just stay busy and find some happiness elsewhere until you are more mentally prepared to date again.

Are you going on a lot of dates but never getting a second one? Or are you going on a lot of dates then not calling the guys back because they are below your standards? Being "too picky" really isn't possible when you're looking for the co-creator of your future children, I think 😊

If you're not getting second dates, do you have a gay male friend or male relative who would be willing to "roleplay" a date with you and give you feedback (which might be hard to hear)?

Maybe you're a overthinking things OP.
It'll never happen while you're feeling negative about yourself. Shake yourself down girl 👍

No idea and I’m over friends saying I’m going for the wrong people because how am I suppose to now

I'm thinking your friends have a point. If you keep repeating the same behaviours/choices, it's not surprising if you end up with the same results. Do you think it's possible you miss or overlook blatant red flags others would spot straight away?

As a pp asked...is it not getting dates or not going on second ones? How much texting before a date? Do you have a list of criteria before you go on a date? Have you tried a phonecall before hand? Do you use filters in your photos? Do you have a full length body shot? When on a date does it seem to go well e.g. you feel relaxed and open?

Spend the money you currently spend on psychics on therapy. You seem very down and have a victim-complex. I understand - it's a self-perpetuating cycle. You are probably now at the stage you go on dates and expect to be rejected and give off a vibe.

This will all be unconscious and this is why you're frustrated. Please don't think moving all the time is the answer. Keep your circle of happy, well-adjusted friends who have relationships because you will be joining them soon.

There is no reason on earth you won't find love with one of the millions of men out there. Just start thinking more scientifically about it all (I know it sounds mad but life isn't like those romantic comedies) and seek help in all areas from your darling profile, presentation, but most especially your psyche.

Be happy without the man to get the man.

Find that therapist and start being open and hopeful and receptive to the fun side of dating.

No idea and I’m over friends saying I’m going for the wrong people because how am I suppose to now

Don't dismiss this out of hand. Your friends have studied you better than we ever can.

You won't understand because it's mostly unconscious. Therapy - it could really crack the problem wide- open.

No idea and I’m over friends saying I’m going for the wrong people because how am I suppose to now

This could be nothing, as sometimes it's something people say if they aren't sure what to say.

Or it could be something. What sort of wrong people do they say you go for? Wrong as in emotional unavailable? Wrong as in attractive in some ways but not nice?