Husband keeps doing really stupid stuff

[Fidgetthefluffer]

I’m sorry to keep this really vague as don’t want to be identified. When I met my husband he had signed some legal documents that seriously fucked up our / his lives. He did that because he didn’t read the contract. Trusted the other person..it has caused SO much grief in our lives. we have finally, finally got to a point where we can sort it out - not completely but a lot. I have been overly invested in it all. In fact if it wasn’t for me we wouldn’t have got this far. So I bowed out & left him to it. Was concerned that it was ruining our relationship & I was being too controlling. Well until today when my paranoia took over & I asked to see where contract was at. He’s totally & utterly fucked it again. Been done over & put clauses in that could destroy our lives. I don’t know what to do. The stupidity of the man is unbelievable. I feel I can’t respect him anymore & I’m so over treating him like a child. Do I just walk away? Tell him? I genuinely don’t think he sees anything wrong with what he has signed. It’s almost heart breaking to have to point out how naive he’s been & what the consequences could be.

I'd divorce him then take the relationship from there. I couldn't be financially tied to someone without the intelligence to check details on a contract and you resents you trying to sort out your shared problems.

@Gingernaut

He only proposed to you in August

?

Oh I remember - is this the incredibly rich guy who bought you a £80 engagement ring and has never taken you out for dinner ? The one who is completely enmeshed with his ex and gives her thousands each month.

Did you really go ahead and marry him after everyone told you not to?

You have to imagine times when he might need to speak for or run things when you cannot and ask yourself if you could manage.
Example: elderly and have dementia, it's down to him to manage the finances for both of you.
Hospitalised due to injury/ill health/birth and a bill or urgent financial document is due so it's up to him to sort.
Would he eff these sorts of things up too?

Op’s other thread dated 7th August said he proposed while drunk with a pallava of them both buying the exact same ring...

A month later they are married and he’s signing strange, mysterious contracts.

It’s unlikely the clauses are actually unfair as this is not permitted in contract law

If something could destroy my life I would take drastic steps to prevent it happening.

For example divorce. You don’t need to tell anyone else and people can still think you are married but this will give you some protection against his debts, which will become your debts.

A quickie divorce has been referred to before but I don’t know if that’s possible under whatever circs you are in but I’d take legal advice to find out.

My dp is financially and administratively an idiot, despite being a wonderful person in most other senses. This is why we are not married, and I am in charge of all financial decisions as a prerequisite of our having a relationship. I don't particularly care if this is controlling, I have to take care of mine and my children's financial security, as he is incapable of it.

He sounds thick as a brick to the extent that it's really aggravating, and you are at risk of getting in the shit through no fault of your own. I would walk away. I hope you can divorce without you ending up with some of his debt or something.

Why are you asking? You didn't listen the last time.

And none of it makes any sense at all.

So was the initial contract signed before you knew him?

You made the headway in getting it sorted out but then stepped back because you felt you were taking over??

Now a new contract has been signed that will destroy your lives? This is incredibly dramatic and I assume that this destruction is related to financial standing? I also assume that would only happen if things went wrong?

I'm guessing that this related to the OPs husbands divorce/shared children arrangements. Is it possible that your husband just has different ideas about what he should and shouldn't be signing?

This does not make any sense, and I wonder whether the opening poster is, well, deranged.

Is his surname Faust?

@Gingernaut

He only proposed to you in August

Yes indeed.

Yeah. Leave him.

@Bubbletrouble43

My dp is financially and administratively an idiot, despite being a wonderful person in most other senses. This is why we are not married, and I am in charge of all financial decisions as a prerequisite of our having a relationship. I don't particularly care if this is controlling, I have to take care of mine and my children's financial security, as he is incapable of it.

I think it's a bit different if they lack the insight needed to run a home, and are likely to cause you financial hardship. Sounds like you are protecting your family.

Been done over & put clauses in that could destroy our lives

It's impossible to give you any advice apart from LTB unless you give more specific information about what type of contract it is and how it will destroy your lives.

If you can start a thread about it you may as well give sufficient information for us to help you.

Otherwise it's a straight LTB because he sounds like an idiot if he signed a contract without discussing it with you before entering into a legal agreement. Also, you said he "keeps doing" stupid things, it's even less clear if he has signed a contract, and then had further additions made to that contract or what's happening!

You got married in the last few weeks?
Why?