Finished with my much younger boyfriend who was lying about using coke. I stopped drinking/using in January and he said he had given up coke too. Turns out he hadn't. I had my suspicions over the months then tasted it when we were DTD one night. He slipped up, caught red handed.
I know in my gut it was right to knock it on the head as he could have been lying about anything - but I'm just so down. He was the only person I really saw. All my mates are married or miles away. I just feel mumsy, isolated, boring and lifeless. I don't drink so I don't feel 'fun'. I feel like my new 'morals' have made me end what was a relationship that worked for me on my terms.
Went to sleep crying and woke up down. I feel like that was my last chance and the last thing I was holding onto from my 'old' life.
How much longer will I feel like this? I understand we grieve but I can't shake it off and I'm going to end up contacting him for a shag at this rate 