Help

[peppapig79]

After 2 years on my own I met someone a year ago. I have 2 children and he has 2. I had a horrible relationship for 20 years and spent two years on my own and was quite happy being single but this man came along and I fell completely head over heels. After a few months together covid happened and I asked him to come and stay and he's moved in since. He is an amazing father and brilliant with my two.
The problem is ME! I had gotten so used to building myself back up and being independent that all I did was second guess whether I wanted to be with him. He did nothing wrong but I started getting silly and generally not being very nice to him by getting annoyed at silly things and being moody and rude to him. We have since argued a few times and I was vile towards him. He is friends with his ex and speaks daily to her about the two kids but that started to annoy me even making me a bit paranoid. I've accused him of still living her and only being with me because she won't have him back. This week we had a row and he packed his stuff and went and stayed with his brother. I literally broke down and my anxiety has been through the roof since. Actually my anxiety is horrendous feeling like I have ruined everything. He came back but I can tell he is weary. It's not the same. How do I fix myself and this?
I'm in bits right now so anxious and paranoid

Sorry can I just add he goes to see his children often and lately I'm struggling with this. I've been pushing him away but now I realize just how much I love him

I think you need some counselling. You need to take a step back because these past 6 months have been stressful for everyone. It was far too soon for him to move in with you. It might be best if he stays with his brother for now.

Op 😌 I have been like this . I was so damaged from my ex that when I actaully found an amazing partner I was so used to being treated like shit that's how I treated him . I was so horrible to him and it is the biggest regret of my life . I wish I could turn back time and make everything right . This was 9 years ago and I still think of him . I actaully left him because I just didn't have any respect for him . I was so convinced he was going to do what my ex did to me that I was in an odd way protecting my self by being the way I was to him . You won't get better on your own op. You need to talk to a therapist. Do the freedom course too also anxiety courses . Also talk to him explain why you are doing the things you do . He's back now so that's a good thing . ❤️ x

Thank you but that's the weird thing the thought of him not being here fills me with fear and dread. I have always had anxiety I am on medication for it.

@okiedokie22

Op 😌 I have been like this . I was so damaged from my ex that when I actaully found an amazing partner I was so used to being treated like shit that's how I treated him . I was so horrible to him and it is the biggest regret of my life . I wish I could turn back time and make everything right . This was 9 years ago and I still think of him . I actaully left him because I just didn't have any respect for him . I was so convinced he was going to do what my ex did to me that I was in an odd way protecting my self by being the way I was to him . You won't get better on your own op. You need to talk to a therapist. Do the freedom course too also anxiety courses . Also talk to him explain why you are doing the things you do . He's back now so that's a good thing . ❤️ x

Thank you. That makes me feel better that you can relate because that is exactly me right now he even tells me I am not your ex! I suffer with anxiety anyway so will definitely try counselling. Yes he is here now and I suppose I should be grateful for that. He is being different towards me maybe he is scared of my reactions. I just want to stop being paranoid and make things right. How do I make him feel he can trust and believe in me? I honestly love him so much I think it's driven me crazy

It's a horrible place to be in op .
I have moved in now with a new partner . But in the back of my mind the anxiety is still there and all the worry but you do learn to live with it and realise that not all men are the same . What I would do is get a card and write down everything your feeling and also how much you love him . That way you can say what you want with out feeling awkward and also it's always more heart felt when someone has wrote everything down for you to read . I'd say he's probably different because he's a bit down with what's happening but give it a few days and everything will be back to normal . He loves you or he wouldn't of come back ❤️ just remember that . You can do this op . If I can anyone can . My head was sooooo messed up I literally felt like I was going to sign my self in because of the crazy things I used to think and the way I used to act . My ex has moved on now got married and has 2 children . Sometimes
I have a nose on Facebook at him and just really regret the way things are now . He was my best friend and it's pretty rare to feel that connection with a partner . X

@okiedokie22

It's a horrible place to be in op . I have moved in now with a new partner . But in the back of my mind the anxiety is still there and all the worry but you do learn to live with it and realise that not all men are the same . What I would do is get a card and write down everything your feeling and also how much you love him . That way you can say what you want with out feeling awkward and also it's always more heart felt when someone has wrote everything down for you to read . I'd say he's probably different because he's a bit down with what's happening but give it a few days and everything will be back to normal . He loves you or he wouldn't of come back ❤️ just remember that . You can do this op . If I can anyone can . My head was sooooo messed up I literally felt like I was going to sign my self in because of the crazy things I used to think and the way I used to act . My ex has moved on now got married and has 2 children . Sometimes I have a nose on Facebook at him and just really regret the way things are now . He was my best friend and it's pretty rare to feel that connection with a partner . X

I cannot thank you enough for replying ♥️ even your words have helped me feel a bit better. A card is a great idea. I'm sorry you were in the same situation but I hope you have found happiness now. Thank you so much for your advice and my advice to you is don't nose on his Facebook lol Honestly I can't thank you enough, I absolutely hate this feeling