Is it normal to argue about every single thing?

[Parisah]

My parents did it, now I'm doing it.
I don't like it but sometimes wonder if this is the only way I can be, and that somehow I found another person who can only function in a relationship like this.

My first marriage was like it. Draining is not the word. It was utterly exhausting.

This marriage is not like it at all. We literally barely argue. If one of us fucks up, we talk it through and apologise. Day to day stuff - never argue. What’s the point?

It’s bliss not to have that constant, dreadful, tiring power struggle going on all the time.

No it’s not normal, but it sounds like it feels normal to you - which isn’t the same thing.

DH & I rarely argue. We bicker occasionally of course, but sort out our differences quickly. It must be exhausting to be in a relationship where you argue all the time.

I’ve been in a relationship like this. My folks bickered like crazy so it seemed normal to me. It’s not normal.

Not normal but still quite common. Is this what you want? If not find a way to change or leave. And don't bring kids into this environment.

Not normal unless you are in a very unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship. Sadly, you are in one. I can't even imagine living this way.

My marriage was like this. Awful. We disagreed on most things and would argue constantly. As a PP said, it’s a power struggle and I found it totally draining, and over time, it wore me down completely. When I had my son, I finally realised how incompatible we were and left him. Interestingly, in a subsequent relationship, I wasn’t argumentative at all, and everything felt very different, and so much better. Different people bring out different qualities in us, and dynamics can be radically different in a new relationship.

My parents were !like this and my mother would have long silences where she's give my Dad (and sometimes me) the silent treatment for days at a time. I've made a concerted effort not to follow her example as it was so damaging. DH and I discuss things and always come to some sort of agreement. It is possible to do it but both parties have to be onboard.

Who cares if it's normal? It's not right, which is more important.

Don't settle down with a bloke you don't get on with. Why on earth would you?

Sounds exhausting. Why do you assume it’s the only way you can operate? Life doesn’t have be this hard.