Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

would you be p*s*ed off??????

20 replies

fawkeoff · 08/10/2007 20:36

so.......

i have been up since 6.45am.
this morning i had to bath dd and ds,make breakfast,get myself and both dc ready while dp lay in bed until 8.05.
I go upstairs trying to find HIM a t shirt that he wants to wear to iron for him,and he sits in bed going " i dont want to wear that one"....i can now feel my blood starting to warm up.
he then comes down the stairs whilst i have just ironed his stuff( i only did this because he would have made us all late) then carry on getting the kids ready,i am also trying to get myself ready as i have to be at college for 9.30.it gets to 8.30 and ds should be at the childminders now,but he is not because dp is upstairs washing his hair.i am now really angry and have started effing and jeffing at dp as he has just asked me to sort his hair out and hands me a tub of hair putty my hair hasn't even seen a brush yet FFS!!!.it comes to a head i tell him he is a twunt and we need to be out of the house and he needs to get me to college 9.20 " you don't start til 10" " no i start at 9.30 every monday"...."bullshit" why the f**k would i lie??? he just wants an argument now which i willingly oblige to" I HAVE BEEN UP SINCE BLAH BLAH THIS MORNING AND YOU HAVE DONE SWEET F.A BUT FANNY ABOUT WITH YOUR HAIR"
he then nicely tells me i am walking to college (it's now 8.50) and bundles the kids in the car,and takes them to the childminder and school.he did come back for me, but still thinks i am in the wrong.i know it's long winded but i am so annoyed at him, and i know he works but i am coping with full time college every day and then coming home doing my usual slave work

OP posts:
ThePhantomToiletFlusher · 08/10/2007 20:44

I am getting mad for you just reading this.
While I'm here I'll join you in a rant. My DH lies in bed while I get both kids up, washed dressed, fed, coats,shoes,schoolbags out etc. I also have to get myself ready for work (uniform/make-up/hair etc) whilst chivvying them 2 along.

He then gets up just as I'm about to leave with them (I drop them at school then go to work) and shouts down the stairs ("Do you want me to drop them at school"). He is a builder by the way..takes him about 2 seconds to get himself ready.

For some reason he gets all arsey when I shout back "No, I want you to get out of f*kng bed earlier and help me sort the children..dropping them at school once I've done everything is the easy bit you idle twat!".

hunkermunker · 08/10/2007 20:46

Can you get the children ready and drive to college, leaving him in his pit to find his own way to work?

He's an adult, I take it?

Did you do his hair? Tell me you didn't...

CountessDracula · 08/10/2007 20:47

he sounds pathetic

Original poster
fawkeoff · 08/10/2007 20:48

lol....i know what you mean.he i generally really helpful and does work long hours, i think i need to bite the bullet and just learn to drive, but it really pisses me off.I am just finding my feet at college,it's a totally new experence,but it's sometimes hard when i also have to fit in the needs of my family as well.before i started college i wouldn't have bothered that much,but at the moment i am as tired as he is , and he does get to relax when he comes home from work....i cant and can i add i am even going to smokind cessation classes once a week for him. he doesnt have the time to go but wants this new medication so i am going for him....WANKER

OP posts:
mrsmerton · 08/10/2007 20:49

Sounds like you both need to calmly hand a list of instructions to your dh's next weekend (or not, if you are feeling really mean) and say 'ta ta, I'm off for the day'
and try really hard not to feel guilty about it.

Original poster
fawkeoff · 08/10/2007 20:50

i did not do his ponce hair....i didn't do mine till i was on the way to college .... he is a really good dp and dad but he is such a todge bag sometimes

OP posts:
mindalina · 08/10/2007 20:51

I'd be furious, but as you know I haven't got any constructive advice as to what to do about it!

macdoodle · 08/10/2007 20:52

You're going to smoking cessation classes to get medication for him...WTF apart from totally unbelievable not sure the morality or legality of that

pollywollydooooooooodle · 08/10/2007 20:52

i'm not sure why you go along with it and steam about it instead of just saying something direct(

egthats the only shirt i've ironned...if you need another, you'll have to do it yourself
eg could you feed the kids when i've bathed them tommorrow
eg i need a few mins to get myself ready you need to do your own hair, there isn't enough time for both if i'm going to be on time

sorry if you just wanted sympathy!

LoveMyGirls · 08/10/2007 20:53

Love your last line TPTF!

But erm can I dare to say IMHO the mistake you both have made there, if you don't mind me saying, is that you have allowed them to turn into lazy unless twats.

The first thing I noticed in your post FO is that "I go upstairs trying to find HIM a t shirt that he wants to wear to iron for him,and he sits in bed going " i dont want to wear that one"
This is the point where you should have said "i was trying to help you but as YOU CAN'T MAKE UP YOUR MIND AND i'm busy getting our children ready could you please sort your own t-shirt out and then help get dc's ready so we can leave on time and don't get stressed with each other"

As it was you let it build up until you were ready to explode.

So I guess in short you were both wrong... Him for not getting his arse out of bed and helping without being asked and you for letting your anger fester until you blew up at him making him then think he was the victim hence why he feels narked hours later.

I'm on your side obviously he should help you both have a busy day and they are his children too and if you have to get yourself ready then he should get himself ready and 50/ 50 with helping children imo.

Original poster
fawkeoff · 08/10/2007 20:54

can i add i dont get the medication for free for those of you that think i am stiffing the classes

OP posts:
julezboo · 08/10/2007 20:54

ohh i feel for you!

It was the same in this house until recently, then he complained I was tired all the time!! We all have to be out the house for 8, he used to get up at half 7, get in the bath and sit there till 5 to 8, so therefore i had to make sure his lunch was done and his clothes where ready.

I sat him down and explained to him it was too much.

He gets up with the baby now at half 6, gets the baby ready then gets in the bath, will also help with DS. Now it seems to be me sitting in bed till 1/4 to 8

Although i still seem to do alot more

Fireflyfairy2 · 08/10/2007 20:56

Or

"Get out of your bed you lazy big fucker & do something to help me out here!!!!"

It sounds like he needs a mam & not a wife!

LoveMyGirls · 08/10/2007 20:58

julezboo - you make his lunch? you made sure his clothes were ready? Wtf? In modern day times where both parents work they should each sort themselves out and help 50/50 with children surely? [lmg faints at the thought of treating dp as a child]

ThePhantomToiletFlusher · 08/10/2007 20:59

I have to say that if I started getting T-shirts out for DH he'd think I'd gone a bit mad. He has to sort himself out.

Problem is he seems to be emotionally attached to his bed the lazy sod.....nothing like a good argument to set yourself off nicely for the day though is there!!

HonoriaGlossop · 08/10/2007 21:14

I really can't believe that you are doing all that for him. Going to smoking cessation classes FOR him....finding him and ironing him a shirt after getting up with the kids and getting them ready.....

just don't do this stuff.

Tortington · 08/10/2007 21:20

i know people

dya want me to knee cap him.

i have an auntie who can arrange this shit

quint · 08/10/2007 21:28

What on earth are you doing ironing a shirt for him whilst he is in bed?

DH had to iron a shirt for himself the other morning and realised what a huge mistake he'd made as DD2 (1yr) tried to pull his shirt over her head to play Boo! I didn;t immediately step in (I knew that he would see to her rather than iron his shirt and place her in danger), so now he irons a weeks worth of shirts on sunday evening when the kids are in bed - that wayhe's not stressed and there is no danger to them.

And as for doing his hair - are you mad, can he not do his own hair?

If he refuses to get himself out of bed, get ready and help you, leave him with the kids not ready (it won;t kill them for one day to be late), get yourself ready and go. I agree with the other poster, you have to take some of the blame here for allowing him to get away with it in the past.

Original poster
fawkeoff · 08/10/2007 23:17

i sound like such a walk over....i so am not, i was venting and this morning was a shitter....custy i would like the number of this "auntie" if she exists lol

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 09/10/2007 11:49

Sounds like the old music hall song.

I wakes him every morning when the clock strikes eight,
I'm always punctual, never, never late,
With a nice cup of tea and a little round of toast,
The Sporting Life and the Winning Post.
Then I gets him nice and comfy and I toddles off to work;
I do the best I can.
Well I'm only a-doing what a girl should do,
Cos he's only a working man.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread