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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

help it's long sorry

4 replies

ohdear1 · 08/10/2007 20:15

I really need some advice, I am a regular poster but have namechanged.My relationship with dp is going drastically wrong I really just feel like curling up in a corner and crying.I dont want to be with him anymore and have asked him to leave but he dosen't I have also recently told his mum whats been going on and her response was "your both as bad as each other" I also started crying to my mum on the phone yesterday (and I never cry in front of anyone) but she just rang back later and asked if I had calmed down.
He has treat me badly for 10 years and I know I have been stupid to stay this long but I only just feel that my blinkers have been lifted and I can see what he has been doing is wrong.
I always felt it was my fault he has been violent and called me awful names he says stuff about the way I look and my confidence is zilch ,he also has a problem with lying he constantly does it and can't see that he is doing any wrong.
I know I'm making myself sound stupid but I am trying to get help this is my problems I do not work and with my kids I can not afford to have no income this close to Christmas .
I can not go to a refuge one of my dd has special needs and it took ages to get her into the school she is in now.
I dont know what I expect you all to say I just needed to get it out .
Thankyou for reading

OP posts:
MilkMonitor · 08/10/2007 20:20

Oh you poor soul.

Ten years - have you been unhappy for ten years? I'm sorry for you.

Violence can never be justified. Ever. People get angry, say horrible things to each other (which I guess is a form of violence) but hitting can never be excused. It is not your fault.

You've been strong to ask him to leave. I'm not really sure what the legal situation is here. Someone will be along to help you in that department, I'm sure.

You've set the ball rolling towards what you think it right for you and your DCs. Take comfort in that. There's is an end to your misery because DP can't live with you forever. Take heart.

Meglet · 08/10/2007 20:25

oh god, I don't know what to say. I can't make it better. It's not your fault and you do not sound stupid. Sorry your mum and DP's mum aren't much help. I haven't been in your situation but maybe the citizens advice bureau could give you some legal advice. I know that my local one has a solicitor a couple of times a month. Some formal advice might make you feel in control so you know what you can plan in the future. ((((((hugs))))) x

ohdear1 · 08/10/2007 20:29

I have been unhappy for 10 years the only happy time I can remember was when he moved out for a year and I just concentrated on myself and the dc .
Funny thing is I cant believe I've spent my 20's like this i'm 30 next year and dont want to waste another decade I'm just so scared of what is going to happen

OP posts:
WinkyWinkola · 08/10/2007 20:37

You're obviously making the right decision to move out then.

I'm sorry that your mum isn't more supportive.

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