Hi all, I'd love a bit of input here.
A quick background - my parents split when I was a year old as my father started heavily abusing drugs. My mother raised me as a single parent for a few years and then she met my step-dad when I was about 5. He has been my father figure every since. As a child, I had arranged visits with my dad (and my brother, 1 year older) once he was clean. Without going into loads of detail, he's a master at guilt-tripping, manipulation and is a complete narcissist. Everything is "woe is me, your mother turned you against me, blah blah" although my mother always stayed completely neutral, even when I would come home crying because he told 9 year old me that he didn't like the birthday gift I got him and I should return it.
About 8 years ago, decided to go completely NC after he sent me an awful email full of ridiculous accusations about my mother. Completely out of the blue, it even made me wonder if he was using again. Over the last 7 or so years, he's sent maybe 3-4 emails to me (random one sentence "hellos" or a 5 word happy birthday message, etc.).
I'm due my first baby in 3 weeks. I made the decision not to contact him about this. He has no part of my life and I don't need him in my daughter's life. Somehow he has found out (I suspect a distant cousin has told him) and he sent me an email asking if it was true. Obviously he starts and ends the email by saying how he's sent me emails but I never responded, my brother never speaks to him, usual guilt trip business.
My response so far is:
Yes, that’s right. I’m due next month. To be completely honest, we haven’t had much of a relationship for the past 10 years and I didn’t think the news of me having a baby would change that.
I don't know what else to say. I don't want to engage with him. I don't want to say "I hope you're well" because that'll start the inevitable "no I'm not, can't find any work, my life is awful, etc."
Anybody with experience with a narcissistic parent who can help? I'm annoyed because I live a very happy, fulfilling life and then he sends me a shitty email and it just completely pulls the threads apart 😔