Making excuses to discard partner?

[SadCypress2020]

Please I need advice: I have been 6 years with X. The last 3 years we were long distance. X discarded me several times the last couple of years, then would come back and the pattern would repeat. About 10 days ago X hoovered again and claimed to have realized that I am the one etc. So I agreed to renew our relationship . We currently live in different countries. On Friday we talked, X was talking about moving back in with me and we happily planned to do a video call for Saturday. Saturday came and I had a medical emergency to take care of (overnight my child and I became sick) so during the day I texted X that I was not at home and that I would call as soon as I get home, which I did. When I did call, because of the time difference, it was about 5:30pm for me, 11:30pm for X. X blocked my calls, exchanged text messages with me for about 45 minutes during which I tried to explain and X was saying how wrong it was what I had done, calling X at that particular time, not calling X earlier, that I should have given details about the medical emergency in my texts (my plan was to give details about the medical emergency to X during the video call that was planned). Then X wrote to me ‘’enough, we will speak on Sunday’’. We briefly spoke once on Sunday morning during which X lashed out at me about what had happened Saturday and said ''I don't want to speak to you anymore today'' and hanged up. Am I crazy? Did I really do something wrong? Should I have called from the doctor's office on Saturday? Should I have texted in greater details what was going on (medical emergency) instead of waiting for the video call (that never happened) to let X know? I thought it was alright to call at that time (11:30pm for X) because the day before, on Friday, X called me when it was 11:30 pm (for X). Now X is cold with me, again, I don't know where our relationship stands, X said today «maybe I am not the right person for you» etc. Is X trying to create an excuse to discard me again and let me carry the guilt of it? Thank you for reading

Why are you doing this to yourself? Why do you keep taking back this utter prat of a man? This "relationship" is shit.

X’s behaviour is not normal. Don’t second guess yourself. Your partner sounds manipulative and like they do not make you happy. It’s hard, but I think you will be much happier cutting X out and moving on. X

Get rid. X is right, he is not the right person for you because he is a waste of space who wants everything on his terms. If he's this horrid from so far away, imagine what he'll be like in the same house. X probably also has a wife / girlfriend in the other country which is why it wasn't convenient for you to ring at that time on that night.

Think of it as a lucky and easy escape. He is easy to block and ignore as he is in another country. Don't even waste another moment's thought on him!

Sorry I lost the will after your 3rd sentence.

Do not waste any more of your time and energy on this situation.

You're using words like hoovering so you know he's abusive (and he is as controlling as hell, as you well know) and yet acting like a 13 year old with no idea.

Sorry but this is where personal responsibility kicks in. Stop doing this. Just stop right now. And work on why your mind is so (sorry to use this word) weak. You need to find your identity and your own voice. You have a child - this isnt an option. Stop being so (again, sorry) pathetic. I don't know how you learnt to value yourself so little but you need to change that.

Ask yourself what are you getting out of this "relationship " if the answer is not a lot then walk away.
He sounds like a nightmare.
When you are dealing with a medical issue you dont need to text anyone unless its for help/ support, you are concentrating on medical issue.
That's beside the point tho, you have a bigger issue than texting, hes a twat and you need to cut him off

I think you need to snap out of it and stop letting him mess with your head.

He sounds crazy and you really don't need this. He's not in to you - he just likes exhorting power over you. Don't waste any more of your time!

Your responsibility is to your DC. They need a calm and peaceful home with a mother who is happy, attuned and focused.

The last 6 years of your DCs life has been absorbing the destructive, chaotic, destabilising emotional energies of this toxic dysfunctional RS which has polluted their home.

They have not had the consistent balanced focus of their own DM to emotionally nurture them through their childhood emotional development because she is preoccupied, distracted and emotionally hijacked with the highs and lows of this nonsense. This means that you are not emotionally available for your DCs because you cannot be in two emotional places at once. They are also scared and confused sensing / watching / hearing a distraught mother.

This is causing them deep emotional harm which will leave them with behavioural issues as DC and develop into chronic MH issues as they become teens / adults.

I assume that they are not the DCs of your partner - so they have already endured and carry emotional injury from a family break up - they have now had 6 years of hurt in top.

Time to disconnect from this all
consuming distracting drama and turn gently towards the needs of your DCs and your responsibility as a mother to them. That’s all that matters.

He is just purely fucking you around and treating you like shit. There is nothing good about this 'relationship'. Of course you're not obliged to tell him about it and he is fucking insane to suggest you are and have a tantrum about it.

Block him and never look back.

Get rid of him. He is an idiot. He has already been treating you like shit. He will continue to. You and your DC deserve better (which would include the option of being alone by the way).

A man who leaves you multiple times will NEVER be a good partner or value you properly. Never mind all the other shit he is pulling. Dump him and block him.

Because you've repeatedly let him drop you and pick you up again, he holds all the cards, thinks he has all the power and can treat you however he wants, so he treats you like shit.

He doesn't actually have all the power. Being treated this way is horrible. Block him on everything.

Do you keep taking him back because you don't like being dumped?
If so, how about you dump him for a change?

Am I crazy? Did I really do something wrong?
Yes and yes!
Why on earth would you agree to try again with this controlling, abusive asshole?
Your DC deserves far better and so do you.
You know it as well.
It should be easy as you live in different countries.
Block, ignore, delete.
Value yourself more than this.
Do some work on yourself and your boundaries.

Oh for god sake
Get rid x

Well that all sounds like a massive waste of life.

Luckily an easy one to get rid of, block, delete and move on. Seriously.

Ladies, thank you for the much needed reality check.
I really do have to get off the hamster wheel.

Wishing you strength. X