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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Will I ever get rid of my abusive husband

1 reply

StartingAgainat31 · 16/09/2020 08:54

My delightful stbxh came to the house to sign documents yesterday. When I confronted him about unfounded accusations he made around me trying to stop his access to our daughter, he lets rip on me, calling me a fucking cunt, a disgrace, a horrendous person amongst others. Saying all the nasty things he has ever said to me are true and he regrets none of them. Calling me lazy and pathetic. Poisonous. And that his new partner is everything I will never be and 100x the person I am. This is after he has been with her (supposedly) weeks at most, and started a relationship just a couple of weeks (most probably less) after we ended our relationship.

I was starting to feel a bit better about life on the whole and he has managed to bring me down. I feel like I'm drowning. I'm struggling with the overt hate he is throwing at me. One of the reasons he calls me lazy, is because I struggled with PND a few years ago and struggled to do the basic tasks. I'm currently struggling to find the energy to do anything. Working from home is making me miserable and I have lost my mojo with work.

I just feel exhausted and I'm worried I will never totally be rid of this man and he will have the power to taint my life forever. He causes a drama at least once a week about something. I have blocked contact with him and am only having email contact re the house. I'm currently communicating about our daughter through his parents.

Please say things get better. I'm hoping when I move into my new home, and have less reason to talk to him, things will be better. But then i thought that as he had a new partner he might loose interest. But its almost like its spurred him to greater lengths of nastiness. I'm beginning to feel like I ended our marriage because he was a nasty abusive man, and yet I'm still stuck with all the negatives of that relationship, but have compromised on all the security it gave me. My finances are another worry for me.

Honestly I'm just exhausted. I'm in the process of preparing the house to move. I have dealt with all of the admin for selling the house. I just want to go to bed and hide.

OP posts:
mamakena · 16/09/2020 14:24

'came to my house'
No. Never meet at your house. neutral public place.

'I confronted him'
No. Why stir up the drama?

'I have blocked contact'
Yet he's at your house, having long fights, calling you names. ... It's the opposite of no contact. Stop wallowing in that mud bath with that pig, the pig is enjoying every minute.

Find true no contact and gray rock. No discussions ever needed. Lucky for you his parents can mediate for the child. Move far away if you're feeling intertwined in his life. It's not your job to facilitate his parent child relationship.

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