So embarrassed about vaginal dryness

[PuertoVallarta]

Late 40s. It caused me to check out of my last relationship which I desperately grieve. But now I occasionally get compliments from other men and I think...if they saw me without my makeup and knew how DRY I am...what’s the point???

Anything I can do? My GP said to just buy lube but I know men know the difference.

How can I start a new relationship? I don’t really want to date men in their 70s when I am only mid-40s. I was just talking to someone my age who seemed interested but he was talking about making me squirt for fuck’s sake that ship has sailed.

I really just want to tell everyone who even looks at me: I AM DRY FUCK OFF IF THAT’S A PROBLEM FOR YOU!!! But surely there must be a better way to find love?

Or not. I know this world is cruel to women b

There's an important difference here though. Vagifen is about more than just dryness. It helps stave off the very uncomfortable and little-talked about vaginal atrophy. Dryness is just one symptom of that. So you need to combine both vagifen with a lubricant, such as yesyes or sylk.

I'm in my mid-30s and have to use lube at certain points in my cycle...and no one i sleep with ever takes offence. i like the durex one that's a bit warming - makes everything feel a bit more 'exciting' sometimes too ;-)

We use lube also - love it: takes all the pressure off - i enjoy sex but have always tended towards dryness even when feeling aroused. I'm not at all sure men can tell the difference. My personal favourite lube is Pjur. Lovely texture and lubricant effect lasts for ages.

Perspective from a woman who sleeps with women - lots of women need and/or use lube. It has never bothered me. If anything it’s a useful item and also can add to the fun with applying it / watching it being applied.

@Vickysunshine is correct it does not matter using lube,in fact it makes sex more enjoyable,especially during foreplay, from box sexes point of view.

Been using it for years I think that you will find males are not concerned about it.

Good luck OP

Just don't tell him / them.

Men usually don't really care about these things, honestly. 99% they won't notice or even on the off chance they do, they don't care.

I have alopecia and wear those clip in ponytails. I dye my own hair and them to match. My DP knows but never bats an eyelid.

I pluck my chin, neck, nipple hairs on the regular (thanks pcos!!) - I've never told him.

Ditto piles. Never told him, I just put on the cream if they flare up and make sure it's washed off before sex ("just jumping in a shower first).

The vast majority of men really don't care, honestly.

My DH has known me down there for 36 years, and, putting it politely, gets within an eyelash width very often.
He did not realise when I needed to start using KY due to menopausal dryness and was very surprised and concerned (that I had felt uncomfortable) when I told him.
I think most men when engaged in sex with a woman they're attracted to are just too busy thanking their lucky stars to worry. To coin a phrase 'you're worth it'.

I like ‘power saving mode’ tee, hee.

I still have my period so I didn’t know about things like vagifem. I feel very shy talking about with my GP and I didn’t push the issue. Takes ages to get an appointment so maybe I will have to be brave and try lube even though I can’t imagine how on earth I’d mention it.

I didn’t have any interest in Mr. Squirt but it got me thinking and it was very depressing to think oh, great, now I have to educate men how to handle old lady vag.

I totally went off sex with my ex and I know that the dryness made me so embarrassed I didn’t want to engage at all.

Genuinely I think you’re worrying too much.
I love lube! The tingling ones and warming are lovely. I’m 39 I don’t need them particularly I just like the sensation of them.

Any partner I have had I kept it on the bedside and went for it, honestly they have never looked shocked or questionable we just cracked on.

I realise you may be a little bit embarrassed but honestly don’t be! I used to be the same and honestly there’s nothing sexier than a confident women.

Just as a side note, myself and My dh don’t take sex too seriously yes it’s full of love and passion but we also laugh when we do silly things example (fanny farts) 🤦🏼‍♀️ We all do them.

What I’m trying to say is we’re all human, we all have different bodies, if the guy is seriously put of by lube he sounds a bit odd and please don’t be embarrassed at all.

Lubes are lovely rubbed in to start the proceedings I do think you’re worrying unnecessarily xx

OP, apart from re-iterating that lube use is no big deal and the warming/tingling ones can be fun (several in my bedside drawer), make sure that you are receving plenty of oral before entry; it really does help.

For most of us comfort and quality sex go hand in hand.

Honestly you are worrying way too much! I've used lube since I was in my 20s with multiple men... its so far from an issue! Really it is... my lube lives on my bedside table and always has...

You don't need to mention it! Just grab for it when it's time to move from oral to fingers and more, and slap it on. Make it foreplay, show him you're doing it, put it on his fingers, make him warm it up before he puts it on you. Lube him up too.

Using lube is so depressing. I hate it. When you are older, if you were very moist when young and enjoying sex, it's just a miserable part of aging.

do you feel out of touch with/ disconnected with your body? Your posts make you seem like you’re uncomfortable with sex talk/ normal body related things. Is there a reason for that that you could explore?

Yikes, went and had a search for topicals and scrolled through that horizontal list you get, came across “Changes“ started reading and it’s a Feminising Gell Cripes the things it can do !

Pressed too soon. It’s a gel for those who are transitioning

What, does it turn a penis and scrotum into a vulva and vagina? Clever stuff!

I'm 29 and have been quite dry for all that time. My husband and no past relationships have cared, we just use lube!

You being too hard on yourself OP!! And no of course you don't have to date 70 y.o. men because of it! I say this in the nicest way but you might be being a bit silly

Men do absolutely not know if you've put a dab of KY in the right place prior to getting things on in the bedroom. They're simple creatures and they really don't, they are just over the moon to have a lovely woman in bed with them!

I hope you manage to feel a bit better about things -this issue is much more to do with your own feelings than anyone else's. x

PS Squirt guy sounds like an idiot that watches too much porn, no girl wants to be pressured into that (even if they can do it and want to) so early on. It would freak me out too!

(As an aside, the "squirt" fluid is actually ejaculated from the urethra - it's not wee but comes out of the same opening. So has absolutely nothing to do with vaginal lubrication anyway )

@PuertoVallarta

I like ‘power saving mode’ tee, hee.

I still have my period so I didn’t know about things like vagifem. I feel very shy talking about with my GP and I didn’t push the issue. Takes ages to get an appointment so maybe I will have to be brave and try lube even though I can’t imagine how on earth I’d mention it.

I didn’t have any interest in Mr. Squirt but it got me thinking and it was very depressing to think oh, great, now I have to educate men how to handle old lady vag.

I totally went off sex with my ex and I know that the dryness made me so embarrassed I didn’t want to engage at all.

You both use lube ! My H is circumcised and so we use it too . It's part of normal sex life - they are enhancing ! You ned to get over this dried up old lady idea in your head.

www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323953#about

Of course it is a real thing - just not with everyone.

I think you're worrying about nothing. I'm 40 and after 3 children I'm also not anywhere near as responsive as I once was. I still love sex though, and have plenty of it. It's never crossed my mind to care about a bit of dryness. I use lube every time.
Plus, please don't entertain men who talk to you like that. They're only after one thing, unless of course that's okay with you?