What does this mean?

[pignoramus]

Man at work, senior to me but a similar age. We have texted quite a bit, usually every week or so. Initially for work, then a few more friendly chats and then the last few weeks have been a bit more... flirty (but not every time).

We began texting in lockdown when both wfh. I've only been back in the office two days a week for the last couple of weeks so have only seen him in person about three times.

After a few drinks one evening I basically admitted to having always fancied him and he said the same. This is about a month ago.

Since then we have had a couple more flirty chats about how much we fancy each other however he never says anything when we see each other in person. He's friendly and chatty, the same as he was before lockdown but he hasn't initiated anything. What does this mean?!

All of our limited flirty chats have been late evening and now I am worried he doesn't really fancy me but has just been "going along" with it because he's drunk or bored!

Sounds like you're playing with fire to be honest considering he's your senior. If he was that keen on a relationship he would take the risk and ask you out, ESPECIALLY as you've gone all out telling him you like him. Men always make the effort if they like the woman enough and dont want to risk losing her to another man. Sounds like he's attracted to you, but not enough to have a proper relationship with you. A lot of men in this scenario would still be up for having "a bit of fun" with a woman who they know likes them as it's a big ego boost for them, especially if the woman is less senior or younger, and they know they can normally dangle the woman on a string. But he's being wary as he knows it could come back to bite him if he treats you that way since you work together and he's your senior. And who knows, he may also be in a relationship/seeing someone and is trying to have his cake and eat it.

Keep your dignity intact and stop flirting with him, even if you fancy him. Just treat him as any other friendly colleague from now on. You deserve a man who will treat you much better

@pignoramus

*But to me there's something ungallant about his behaviour: you confessed to him that you've always fancied him - I think that was taking a significant step on your part. He may have replied by saying that he's always fancied you but it feels to me like the ball is in his court on suggesting a meet up and the fact that he hasn't suggests it doesn't work for him for some reason or another.

In my experience (admittedly speaking as a woman well into middle age who's been with the same partner for 20+ years), if you have to ask why a man is doing something, it's usually a sign that something's out of kilter.*

This is the gut feeling I have I think. He did say the first time we were flirting that "we will have to go out together" and I agreed but plans were never properly made.

Your last sentence is the answer right there. He's not interested, he's just playing with you - move on to something better!

What if he says no?!

Then you brush it off and at least you know? It’d be loads worse to not ask, and keep flirting with him without knowing if he’s really interested...

I mean; I’d usually agree that workplace romances are an awful idea but I married mine a few weeks ago. We kept it very professional at work. But one of you does have to make a move!

Oh, I missed the second page somehow. I’m with Lilywater, that last line says it all.