Feelings hurt

[Delbelleber]

Without going in to details.... My ex made a cruel joke about me on fb. We still see each other because we have a baby and I thought we were friends. Then 5 days after he posted the joke I found out about it.
My feelings are really hurt and it makes me cry thinking about it. He eventually said sorry and took it down. But I can't forgive him and I don't want to be friends anymore. I only want to do hand overs with the baby where as before we would all spend time together.
He still wants to be friends.
He's narcissistic by nature anyway and I always knew he wasn't good for me but acting like we are friends then being cruel behind my back has really stung.
He's even love bombing trying to get back in my good books... I know he can change at the flip of a coin though and I know he's talking shit.
Am I over reacting?

No.

Let this be the catalyst to do what you should have done the moment you split. Cut all ties with the exception of interaction over the baby.

Block him on everything bar one method of contact and only reply on that regarding matters about your child.

I suggest you educate yourself as much as possible on narcissists too. It's good that you know what he is but... it sounds like you havent quite grasped what that truly means yet. Narcissists are empty, all they know how to do is take. In order to take, they sometimes wear a mask of goodness or affection. But you must always remember that they are hollow. With the exception of rage, hate and greed perhaps.

He is not changing at the flip if a coin. There is no good and bad him. Only the bad and the mask.

Distance yourself as much as possible from him. Do not let him fool you again.

And as for his words: they are not reflective of you. They are reflective of him. Of his hate and spite and jealousy.

Protect yourself. And protect your child from him in time, read up on narcissistic parenting and what to expect.

See him for what he is now. And make choices accordingly.

Thank you. I don't even know you but you sound like a friend.
Thanks

Well he didn't say it in private, did he?

He said it in the most public way he could. He may as well have walked the streets shouting it over a loudspeaker. And he did it for a full week.

You seeing it WAS THE POINT. And you getting upset and begging him to take it down WAS THE POINT. He got his shits and giggles out of it.

You should never have been friends with him in the first place. Spending all your time with your ex? WTF?? Babies don't care. It was a foolish system to begin with.

He did you a favour. Get a solicitor and get a formal contract drawn up for custody. Make sure it suits you. Make sure there are stipulations in it for contact, travel and handover. And dont be a pushover in it.

Contact CSA and get appropriate financial support for the child.

And get a second phone and tell him you have changed your number and this is the new one. He won't know you still have your old number. But it means you don't have to hop every time your phone beeps. You can keep "his" phone turned off in a drawer except when you choose to look at it.

Keep at arms length. Babies don't know any difference.

@ElspethFlashman

Well he didn't say it in private, did he?

He said it in the most public way he could. He may as well have walked the streets shouting it over a loudspeaker. And he did it for a full week.

You seeing it WAS THE POINT. And you getting upset and begging him to take it down WAS THE POINT. He got his shits and giggles out of it.

You should never have been friends with him in the first place. Spending all your time with your ex? WTF?? Babies don't care. It was a foolish system to begin with.

He did you a favour. Get a solicitor and get a formal contract drawn up for custody. Make sure it suits you. Make sure there are stipulations in it for contact, travel and handover. And dont be a pushover in it.

Contact CSA and get appropriate financial support for the child.

And get a second phone and tell him you have changed your number and this is the new one. He won't know you still have your old number. But it means you don't have to hop every time your phone beeps. You can keep "his" phone turned off in a drawer except when you choose to look at it.

Keep at arms length. Babies don't know any difference.

This is good advice. Act on it, OP. This man does not have your best interests at heart. Your future interaction should be minimal, and only when necessary for your child.

OP, he is your ex for a reason.

You do not need to be friends with your Ex, concentrate on being a good mother to your baby. Be polite during handovers and nothing more.

Be cold and protect yourself every time you meet.

Thanks for the advice guys. I sent him 4 angry what's ap messages but deleted them before he read them. He doesn't get to hurt me anymore.
Ugh I'm so angry and hurt at the same time .
He wanted me to go in his house today when I took the baby round. Making out like I'm over reacting.