Giving up on someone

[Frownette]

I'm talking about in a family sense rather than romantic but it could apply to any relationship.

It's so hard, isn't it? I don't think I can cope with it anymore and have to detach. It made me quite ill this past week and I have to walk away for my own sanity.

I find it helps if you expand the phrase "give up on" properly in your own mind.

I am giving up hope that Maureen will start behaving like a calm reasonable person. I am learning to accept Maureen as she is not as I wish she were. Her behaviour is damaging to me. I accept that I cannot have a mutually beneficial loving relationship with Maureen. I will now distance myself from Maureen.

@TorkTorkBam I'll have a think about that, thank you. It's more about making the decision to distance for my own sanity at present.

Doesn't need any angry words.

I have had to massively detach from my alcoholic brother.

Care so much about him, helped him in every way I can, want him to stop drinking so badly etc.

I thought we were getting along and I was helping him turn his life around when he turned on me really viciously. Was like a demon and really shook me up. Then he didn't spreak to me for nearly 3 months. Accepted Christmas and birthday presents during that time without a word of thanks though. He just wants to keep drinking and drugging without my interference.

Realised I was codependent. Did lots of reading YouTube videos about it. Had to clean up my side of the street.

Now? I Speak much less to him. Answer the phone when it's convenient for ME. No longer miss works, meals, sleep so he can have someone to drunkenly rant at for 4 hours. If he's nice we chat for longer than when he's abusive.

I feel at peace. I know one day something bad will happen and I do love him. But I'm not his keeper.

That's all there is. I hope you too find peace OP. 🌺