Winding in-laws up

[Whydoireadthis]

Does anybody else find themselves doing or saying something just because you know it’ll wind the in-laws up, or spite them in some way? I get along very well with my in-laws but they’re very stuck in their ways, and MIL is a religious homophobic racist. I stand up to her a lot about these kinda things but never so much where it’s an angry argument, more a gentle ribbing whilst getting my point across. I can’t help but ask her why she believes homosexuality is a sin but two of her children have had children out of wedlock and she seems fine with that? I wind her up telling her I hope DD is a lesbian who falls in love with a black woman and she seethes but I can’t help it. She’s so negative but it amuses me so much sometimes.
Please tell me I’m not the only one😂

As long as you don't fall out over it I think it's healthy :)

You’re wicked OP
I don’t wind up my in laws but I happened to correct my MIL a few times where she was spewing utter bollocks.
I kept my mouth shut a few times but enough is enough sometimes.

I wouldn't want a religious homophobic racist anywhere near my children if she was going to be espousing views of that type.

Mil forbid me from letting ds's be naked. Apparently they would get sexual feelings.
Used to tell her how much nappy free time they had had evey day via dh on the phone. She never had my number..

@OchonAgusOchonO No I don’t want my children around her either when she’s spouting off but it’s why I give her a reply rather than ignore her like the rest of the family do. Her view on homosexuals is ‘it’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve’ which I think is a childish way of looking at it. I’m all for people having a faith but I have asked her why she lives her life by the ‘rules and teachings’ of a book that could’ve been altered along the way, through hundreds of years. She has such strong views on gay people yet she like I say, has two grandchildren born out of wedlock which is never mentioned. I find this mildly amusing at times. She refuses to talk to a niece who’s a lesbian so she’s just inconsistent sometimes. It can get serious though-the whole family’s views on the Black Lives Matter movement were just shocking and I ended up walking out with DC as I had my say as much as I could but I could see it was going to escalate and to be honest, I couldn’t be bothered having just given birth. I can see how her kids have certain views but luckily DH is willing to be taught and doesn’t just shut down when I start conversations with him about topics I feel are going to cause friction. I can’t wait for DC to start answering her back if necessary!

Ask her about Lilith, Adam's first wife! Snigger snigger.

I get along very well with my in-laws but they’re very stuck in their ways, and MIL is a religious homophobic racist.

How can you stomach these people? How is it even possible to get on v well with someone who you know has hate at their core?

You have tried to engage and educate - it seems they have become more entrenched. Turning it into spite and ridicule is just counterproductive.

I would not want this family polluting my DCs and I would not expose my DC to such and environment and expect them to fight it.

I would drop the rope on this game, turn my back and surround my DC with emotionally healthy, kind and respectful people who were nurturing and warm. You will not be able to control (as your MiL demonstrates) their exposure to hate.

My DC are adults.
When their grandfather starts on this, DD1 talks about her pretend Muslim girlfriend Fatema. DH and I go along with it.
His face was priceless when he could not work out whether DD1 was serious or not.
My DM is just as bad, but has mellowed over the years with much education from us.

@Sssloou I believe she’s not inherently a bad person, she’s obviously got her views and is stubbornly sticking to them. I’m not down playing the racism etc but she’s not spouting off all the time, it’s just when these things come up in the news or whatever. I don’t like to let her get away with saying it so I have my say too. I can definitely see it being an issue once DD is older so I’m prepared to actually withhold visits once she can understand what grandma is saying. It isn’t all about such controversial topics, sometimes I just delight in telling her DD only cries when at theirs, that we’re spending a Christmas with my family, that I’m spending my money on expensive baby stuff because I know she won’t like it or will have an opinion on it. It’s petty but just a bit of fun 😂

You are in a passive aggressive dynamic then - this isn’t helpful for your DCs as they will sense and absorb your piqued and tense moods when you are there - which will unsettle and hurt them. They might even sense or decided that you are bullying their GM. It’s all game playing. Drop the rope.

My in-laws are evangelical, bibilical literalists who don’t believe in evolution. Thankfully they are not racist, though they are homophobic (why do biblical literalists get so hung up on the gay thing but ignore so much else in the supposed immutable word of god?). They don’t really talk about their beliefs in front of us, so conversation is usually pleasantly bland and suburban.

In any case, I can’t talk, as my family has a branch of ultra conspiracy theorist, far right racists (including my mother).

It’s amazing my husband and I are as normal as we are.

It's that kind of Christian that gets the rest of us a bad name. More and more Christians now accept that the 'evidence' on homosexuality being a sin is taken way out of context. The majority of Christians also know and fully support the fact that everyone was made equal in God's eyes. So your MIL isn't talking from a Christian standpoint. She is talking from a prejudiced one.