How to handle...

[Lively12344]

I'm from a very stable family and not sure how to handle this situation. I am in a relatively new relationship where I've happily become stepmum to a beautiful 7YO.

Yesterday we were planning a family day out and my partner didn't like any of my suggestions. I asked him to think of ideas instead.He couldn't think of anywhere and said let's just go out anyway. On the road he told me to think of somewhere, to which I said I couldn't think of any more ideas.

Let's just say he went crazy. He was screaming at me, saying I cause all my own stress and repeatedly screamed at me that I'm just a c**t. I was horrified and so upset. I tried to keep my tears hidden but can't believe he did this. I've never seen anyone treat the person they love like this. He apologised but I am still so hurt and shocked by this. Not least that it was in front of his daughter. I don't know how to feel, if I'm overreacting by being so deeply hurt by it, etc etc. I admit I'm having a tough time of late but is this something I should brush off?

Any advice welcome x

but is this something I should brush off?

No

And you need some help to boost your self esteem and self worth which appear to be rock bottom

Get
Rid
Of
Him
Now
Today

Poor kid. What an absolute arsehole of a father she has. Scumbag.

What a shit he turned out to be. When someone shows you their true colours, believe them.

My heart goes out to the tiny little girl who had to witness that, must of been very intimidating and frightening for her.

Don't let him move in with you.

Oh nooooooo
Leave immediately
My ex done this I spent 5 years being abused like this he was a textbook narcissist.
Please listen
Leave him it will only get worse.
No sane decent man behaves this way
😘

If anyone used the C word at me it would end there on the spot. I can’t see a way back from this OP. You need to end it now. I’m sure there are no end of MN’ers on here will tell you this is just the beginning. They will tell you because they’ve been there. Please listen.

No. Just that.

Anyone who abuses their child by abusing their partner in front of them is not relationship material. Do not fall into the trap of wanting to protect the child. While you are there it will continue. If you put up with it he will think it is acceptable. The only way he will stop abusing his child like this is if successive women tell him to fuck off. Be the first.

I really hope this isn't the bloke with the 20yo son who moved his girlfriend in during lockdown to be nanny and housekeeper to his daughter...

He’s an aggressive, abusive bully. Please walk away.

How many women are there on Mumsnet who call themselves a stepmum to the 7 or 8yo daughter of a man they've known for all of five minutes.

You are not this girl's step-mum.

He has shown you who he is.
He has shown you that he feels no requirement or ability to manage his reactions.
The way he treated you is a demonstration of how much you mean to him. When you really love someone, you might snap at them, you might argue, but you don't abuse them. He doesn't love or respect you.

How would your family feel if they witnessed this? Horrified and very, very upset?

What would your family's advice be? Leave!!

This is very clearly a LTB situation. You've seen him for what he is, don't waste any more time.

You need to leave for your own sanity . It's not ok to let anyone call you that name . Leave