Feeling lonely

[Fairycake2]

I've been really struggling with loneliness this weekend. I split with DH 10 months ago and while I dont think I miss him any more, I miss having someone to spend time with and I definitely miss hugs.

I've purposely stayed single so I don't jump into something too soon and I don't end up with someone who isn't any good for me, but I can't even find someone I actually like enough to spend even a bit of time with and have some fun with.

All my friends are in a couple or have a family of their own and I'm not one to invite myself to places. I don't like to feel like I'm in the way.

Covid is making meeting new people really tough and I can be quite shy so even if I went somewhere I dont know if I'd be able to make new friends. How do people actually make new friends in their 40s?

What does everyone do when they feel lonely? I ended up spending Friday night sobbing in front of a film and I really don't want this to become a regular thing! Would love a MN handhold right now

Do you do any exercise? I really recommend Qigong. If you're missing physical touch, it's great as you massage yourself and give yourself hugs. It's also very healing and helps you to release emotions. You can actually hug yourself by squeezing between the walls in a corner and putting your arms around yourself. I know this sounds bonkers, but needs must.

I'm sorry you're feeling lonely.

Sorry you are feeling lonely. It can be hard on a summer weekend.

If you are shy, I would recommend some structured activities. Small exercise classes (arrive early and chat to the teacher), get a PT, tennis lessons etc. A lot of feeling shy might be because you are out of practice in socializing. There are a lot of books and sites you can look up as well. Small talk is a skill that can be learned, as well as taking an active interest in other people.

Do you have children? Do you get on with other mums? Do you live in a city?

Feeling lonely and isolated is so hard, Im sorry you are going through this tough time. Current restrictions do make socialising harder but September is a typical time for new courses and classes to start so think about what you like to do or maybe what you always wanted to try and see if you can find something local. When I feel lonely I invite people to lunch or dinner, i may go to the cinema or sometimes I go for a drive to a popular local spot for a walk just to be around people and feel the vibes!

Thanks all. Some great ideas. I will have a Google and try some of the things you suggested.

I do have DC but they go to secondary school so it's not easy to make new Mum friends sadly.

I did go on a 'meet up' get together before covid and hopefully these will start up again soon. I live in a fairly big town but think I need to actively look to see what's going on near me

@Fairycake2 how are you getting on?

Thank you so much for asking @jigglypuffcookie, its really nice of you 💐I'm a little better and have definitely had a better weekend than my last child free one. I've tried to make sure i see at least one friend this weekend and I'm trying to look at the positives of being single instead of focusing on the negatives of not being in a relationship. Work has been mad busy these last few weeks so I haven't looked into any new hobbies yet but I'm going to this week. I've reached out to a few friends to tell them how I feel and they've all said I'm welcome to invite myself round for a cuppa which is lovely. Just hoping I can keep thinking this way

I know just how you feel. My partner and I split last year, I'm so glad we aren't together but so strange going without seeing friends or family.

Sorry, posted too soon.

Making a point to reach out helps. And then needing to space out my "events" so I don't get too used to seeing people or go too long without seeing anyone I care about either.

Maybe look into a new hobby - something that inspires you! It will help take your mind off the fact that you're lonely. For example, I recently started lino printing, and it's been ace! I'm so wrapped up in my new hobby that I don't have much time to think about being lonely any more. Book yourself some things to look forwards to as well... short course (online?), that kind of thing.