How can I leave him if I don't have much money?

[anonscared]

I want to leave my on/off partner after the way he's treated me in front of our child. My child is now behaving in a violent manner at the age of 4 and I can't take it anymore.

Child has just started primary school and I'm jobless claiming UC. I have around 1 months rent saved, but nothing really for loving costs.

I plan to move to the last city I lived in for years. My ex didn't live there with me so dosent know the area. I'm just concerned about him wanting to see our child. He has a drug addiction and has proven himself to be a careless and uninvolved parent whilst together.

I don't know how to get away. I'm tempted to move abroad. I'm eligible for up to 20k for a personal loan from my bank. I'm not sure if I could use that to leave him though.

I'm sick of this. He will never change and its damaging my 4 year old child.

Can ypu find work and put steps in place to leave?
I cant imagine you are going to be able to ( nor is it sensible) to take out a loan when you are on UC with no job.

Have you looked in to support or help from woman aid? Have you family you can stay with?

Work is difficult to find at the moment. I'm not qualified in anything. Never had a profession, I'm still young.

I don't want to contact womens aid. I don't think what he did to me counts.

No family to help. My siblings live in house shares.

Was he violent to you? Or verbally abusive?

It counts. Contact refuge or women's aid. Get help. Leave.

Talk to the council.

Please phone Women's Aid.

Look contact women’s aid please. You need support

Perhaps you could get a live in job that would accept a child? Such as house keeper to a single/divorced/widowed farmer?

Moving abroad, you would find yourself forced back and in deep legal doodoo if he has parental responsibility (is he on the birth certificate)?

If he's been violent/aggressive in the home and you're desperate enough to want to do a flit, then it is plenty serious enough for Women's Aid or domestic abuse services. It's not just for women who have been beaten.

He has a drug addiction

Contact Women's Aid

I was grabbed and shoved in front of our child. He thought I was disrespecting him by trying to stop him punishing our child in a manner akin to torture/abuse in my eyes. I screamed at him by calling him names. I would never do this in front of my child but I couldn't believe what he had done.

I've woken up this morning feeling like life had been knocked out of me. On the way dropping off my child to school I've been trying not to cry in public. I'm back now in my child's bed in tears. I don't want to leave the room unless he goes out.

What could womens aid even do? Could they help with private rent? Moving? What about my child's school? I'm worried about what could happen if I leave. I never want to see him again, but he will try to see our child and find out where I'm living.

Contact the council today and speak to them about the fact that you have a child and need to flee a violent, addicted partner. You should be considered 'priority need'. You can find your local council here.

Don't discuss wanting to leaving with your partner as his behaviour may get worse.

You may be able to get a discretionary payment from the council to help with deposit and rent payments, but that really depends on what is available locally.

I don't want to contact womens aid. I don't think what he did to me counts.

It does count.

They will help you, support you in getting away from him. They've got so much experience and can answer every question you have. Please call them.

The council will probably refer her to local services, if that's what she wants. She just needs to ask the housing department for details or look on the council website.

You want the Housing Department OP.

I agree about contactig your council and Womens Aid. Tell them how you neeed to flee violence and abuse. Check if your council does a deposit scheme, some pay the deposit and first moths rent upfront for you on private rentals, contact all the Housing Associations in the area you wnat tolive and see how long the wait is likely to be. You often need tohave a connection to an area or lived there for a "qualifying" period so not wanting to move area to Social housing may be tricky.

Uc will cover rent up to a certain limit

You could potentially go into a refuge and work out what to do from there. Your location would be secret. If you feel your dc is at risk from your partner, then I would get in touch with domestic abuse services and the social services urgently.