Have realised I posted something similar last month - not sure if lockdown is making my anxiety worse or if I am hypersensitive. But I feel inadequate because I don't have any female friendships/a group of friends to hang out with anymore.
My fiancé has a large friendship group and all of them are lovely - they make me feel so welcome but I feel v. insecure when the topic of 'friends' comes up. Just today another couple said they were hanging out with the girl's friends and immediately I felt nervous. My fiancé and I hardly do anything with my friends, its always his and that's because my friends are virtually non existent these days. I go for my daily walks and I feel really anxious and feel like I want to flee.
We are getting married this year and I am very happy it has to be small because of the virus but whenever the hen/stag debate comes up I immediately shut down. Or whenever people ask about my friends I get nervous. I feel so insecure about this, Ive tried my hardest to reach out to old friends and to make new ones but its been this way for years - I understand some ppl just naturally know more ppl, I desperately want a friendship group or a group of girlfriends to have dinners etc with but everyone already seems to have their 'tribe' apart from me. Im 32 and have mostly been in relationships from the age of 18 onwards.. I kick myself now because I should have used that time to make more friends or to go on a gap year. Now I'm this age and I feel like a loser. Is this normal? what brings all this on.. why does everyone seem to have a group but me? I feel really low, sad, anxious and depressed.
my DP is a godsend for me he never makes me feel inadequate.. I just seem to do it to myself.