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Single friends...

14 replies

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 12/09/2020 17:50

Back in February I said yet another extremely painful goodbye to yet another Mr Wrong who I thought was my teammate. It's been a cunt of a year, but some time has passed and whilst I'm still hurting I'm starting to feel stronger. I knew whilst I was in my last relationship that this was the last try, I was on my own for years before so if it didn't work out on this third and final attempt that was it - so this is it. I'm 36, I don't have or want children and I'm doing life solo from now on. Fuck dating. Fuck the lot of it. What I would really like now is a few new friends - I love the ones I have I really do, but they are all married or settled with families of their own. I'm not saying I want to find some people to make a "single for life" pact with, I know life can throw the right person at anyone, even me (it won't!) but I just think it would be nice to have a few mates who I feel are on the same life stage as me and who have similar outlooks to me, people who can to be on their own and won't constantly ask me if I've met someone or do I really want to be single forever etc etc. I don't want to sit in a coffee house being Chandler, Phoebe and Rachel every day, just to slowly build casual rapport via email or whatever and maybe if we're on the same wavelength it will one day develop into a genuine friendship who I could meet up with for a meal and a bloody good drink and a laugh with every few months or something. It would be great to go through middle age knowing people I have more in common with. I've already formed a true bond with someone on here who I just kind of stumbled across and connected with by accident a couple of months ago, I'm meeting up with her for the first time in December and although I'll be sooooo nervous on the day I really hope we hit it off. No real names until we meet! It got me thinking maybe there are others on here too... I don't give a rats how old or young you are, whether you're male or female, whether you look like Cameron Diaz or have a breath smelling of shit. If you're a decent person, someone I can have the crack with and be myself with you're good enough for me!

I'm an extremely independent person. I do things with friends too but I spend a ton of time alone by choice, I holiday alone, I eat out alone, I live alone - even in a relationship I still loved my own company. I am extremely introverted, I don't like being around loads of people (the irony) and I need a lot of space, I look like a lady but am un-ladylike but have integrity where it truly counts, I swear like a fucking trooper! I love cats. I'm a straight shooter and I say it as it is. I'm allergic to constant drama and neediness. I have a dark / un-pc sense of humour - I'm pretty much Ricky Gervais but female and without the talent. If you met me face to face I'm not as confident as I probably come across on here but once I get familiar with you I'll emerge. I'm not political and I whilst I enjoy talking about things that are going on in the world, have opinions and care about people I don't argue over it, I'm not intense and I'm really not overly ranty about brexit, feminism or whatever movement is in the news these days. I'm the "live and let live" type, I'm down to earth and I just want to be happy and safe and for the small group of people around me to be happy and safe.

I'm based in the Midlands.

So that's me, tell me about you? If you think I sound alright and you want some new friends too feel free to inbox me! If not, well then... bollocks to you :-)

OP posts:
Whatabambam · 12/09/2020 18:02

You sound strong and funny. Your post made me chuckle. I get the whole Friends thing. It's suffocating to anyone who needs a modicum of privacy. I had a date today and explained that I would normally put my hands over the sides of my face when I was a child during family events. Imagine a horse with blinkers. As much as we need to connect, we need headspace too. Best of times ahead for you xx

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 12/09/2020 18:55

Ah thanks mate 👍

OP posts:
NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 12/09/2020 19:03

@AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit

I think that I'm kinda you –although I am a tad ranty when it comes to feminism Grin – but further north. You sound wicked. If you're passing my way or me yours, I'd love to love to have a drink and a bite to eat with ya Smile

Scones13 · 12/09/2020 19:17

I'm in the Midlands. Single too. Most of my friends are coupled up with children. Sorry not sure how to send in box message xx

WiserOlder · 12/09/2020 19:44

I hear you. The only thing standing in the way of you enjoying your freedom is covid. You will be ok, xx

noego · 12/09/2020 21:22

Sounds cool to me :0

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 13/09/2020 12:23

You have to inbox on the website I think, not the app

OP posts:
Readr · 13/09/2020 18:24

I like your op - I'm kind of like you, too. (Sadly far from the Midlands though.)

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 13/09/2020 19:53

Ah that's a shame x

OP posts:
Tiredmum8 · 13/09/2020 19:58

Hello 👋 I’m exactly the same! Been single over a year now, just trying dating and my god it’s a mine field! I do have friends but like yours they have their own lives/ families/ other friends etc, I’m in the Midlands too if you want to chat anytime maybe have a coffee etc xx

OhSoSad · 13/09/2020 20:15

I feel the same although I have been married and have a teen DD. But I just have this feeling that I’m not destined to be with anyone again, it hurts too much and I’m reluctant to give up my freedom. I’m not a million miles from the Midlands so very happy to chat 😊

Suzi888 · 13/09/2020 20:31

“who I could meet up with for a meal and a bloody good drink and a laugh with every few months or something”

Love that!^
Love Ricky Gervais and cats Grin
Loved the idea of holidaying alone until I realised I’m crap at map reading and can’t work anything, including unlocking front doorsConfused

Also married with child & live in Wales! Hmm

TaraR2020 · 14/09/2020 00:39

You're definitely not the only one in that boat! I'd focus on trying to meet people through exploring your interests and hobbies - you don't have to be massively social to do so...from book clubs, walking groups, board game/gaming nights, sports etc.

Register with meetup and take your time exploring what's around you...Meet up has opportunities for all sorts of activities and ppl anywhere on the intro/extravert spectrum. I will say,give it a chance - you don't always meet Your Tribe the first couple of outings but made so many friends through it - and all from meeting one person.

Also check out voluntary opportunities near you.

Good luck!

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 14/09/2020 00:43

I'll be your friend Grin

I'm also 36 and single, although I do have children. I'm done with dating. It's not worth the heartache. I'm a total introvert and have anxiety so don't socialise a lot.

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